Anonymous

Hitting problem

Hello parents!!! I'm having trouble with my two year old son with hitting and kicking. I try to say no hitting, or grab his hand. He doesn’t talk yet because he has a speech delay. Any techniques I could try with a non verbal child?

  • Sheila
    Oct 11

    I used to grab my son and hug him to distract him and then talk to him about it. My oldest had a speech delay. He doesn’t hit now unless he’s told you to leave him alone multiple times (not just 2-3 time but like 5 times lol) I think you just have to find some form of communication with him. I tried popping, time out, just calmly talking, giving the “eye” look and all just to try hugging him and talking to him and it worked for us! I try not to pop my children because I was sexually, mentally and physically abused growing up and it gives me bad memories and an anxiety attack will come on shortly after.

  • Diana
    Oct 11

    The two main techniques I used were the same as a previous poster: if we were out somewhere public, I would hold my child in a restrictive hug so they couldn’t hit, explaining that I love them and I want to understand why they’re upset, but only after they calm down. At home I would tell them “I can see you’re upset, I’ll give you a minute to calm down, then come back so we can work on a solution together.” In both instances, you make sure your child knows you love them and are trying to understand- but that is not the right way to try and get your attention. My child is almost three and is given the choice now, “I see you’re upset - do you want a hug, or a minute to yourself?” 80% of the time she picks a minute to herself, then comes back to me when she’s calm (5 to 10 minutes later) to tell me what is she wanted.

  • Susana
    Oct 11

    I had this problem. My son is 2.5 with autism and speech delay. You ignore the hitting. Do what you can to stay out of range but if you get hit, act as if nothing happened. The message will be received soon enough. That hitting gets you neither good or bad attention. My son stopped hitting on a weeks time. Hasn’t come back.

  • Vicki
    Oct 11

    Diana, I love giving the choice of a hug or a minute to themselves!!

  • Alexis
    Oct 13

    I have a 4 year old girl with autism and she has huge temper tantrums, they get very bad and what my husband and I do is we make sure we are speaking in a calm voice and look at her in her eyes and tell her that we want to help her and that we love her very much. We notice she calms down greatly and very quickly as well! She tends to hit and does it a lot less now. She’s quick to get upset about things that aren’t big deals to others but the biggest thing is to tell her that she isn’t bad and that this isn’t her fault. Our daughter has trouble Socializing & communicating so it becomes very frustrating for her. Hugging her at the time of the tantrum helps to diffuse her episodes. Hang in there mama! It’s not easy, just remember your doing the best you can!