Posted in Behavior, Preschoolers

Hostile nature in preschooler


I have a 4 year old son who worries me. He has a natural aggression in him that manifests itself during the most mundane and innocuous situations. I would never use the word friendly or happy to describe him (but he CAN be friendly and happy). He's just so serious- but talkative and verbally advanced. He scowls at people who are trying to be nice to him or he'll get mad about really ridiculous things that should make a normal kid happy! He's physically aggressive and also verbally so (e.g. yelling his answers, snapping his responses, etc). This probably started around 18mos when most toddlers are in that "hitting phase." Are we doomed? should I have him evaluated? He can be very sweet and loving but also answers a simple question with a snarl and raised voice. He’ll be watching a movie and his hands are balled up into fists! 🥺

  • Teresa
    Oct 22, 2019

    I am going through the same thing same age as well he got diagnosed wit autism at 1year and 8months

  • Laralyss
    Oct 24, 2019

    I’m sorry you’re going through this! I would definitely seek expert advice if you’re concerned to better understand what is going on. I have heard of something called oppositional defiant behavior but an expert perhaps suggested through his pediatrician should be able to help you.

  • Brent
    Oct 24, 2019

    Have you just tried talking to him. Like hey people don't act like that. This will cause consequences in life. I find when my boys have issues if I just talk and explain things to them like I would anyone that it helps.

  • Anonymous
    Oct 24, 2019

    What is he watching? Is he getting these cues from somewhere/someone? Pre-school? Other friends? An argument he may overhear? What are the situations in which he has positive responses and reactions? What does make him happy? If he is verbally advanced can he explain to you why he responds in that manner? Did he see that somewhere? How does he feel when he reacts like this? It does remind me a bit of my nephew that honestly was just too smart and had way too much pent up energy that manifested in aggression at times. The solution was seriously getting him to get rid of every ounce of energy he had. When he got a bit older his parents found a sport for him to get involved him that allowed him to ‘vent’ that way and focus all of his mental energy in the activity. It ended up being gymnastics for him since we was much more introverted. Could you enroll him in to a tiny tots soccer program or something similar? If he’s social perhaps that setting would help? Also having another discipline figure (coach) May help too?

  • Anonymous
    Oct 25, 2019

    I have a 18 month old and I’m going through the same, he was never the regular baby who would smile back at people, now it’s just worse, he gets aggressive, he yells, hits himself he’s super intelligent I had looked for signs of autism in him but he doesn’t have none

  • Heather
    Oct 26, 2019

    This sounds like my son too. He has a difficult time in school settings and it’s starting to cause a lot of stress. He just started a new home daycare/preschool 3 weeks ago and we were told if he hits one more time he will have to leave. Both my husband and I work and need care. Just don’t know if I should just get a nanny or try another center. I have taken him to see behavioral pediatrician and they say nothing is wrong. He’s 4 and just has a harder time with emotion regulation.