Posted in Family Planning, Multiple Children, Stay-at-Home Parents

How did you plan for Baby #2?

Anonymous

My spouse wants to have our second child so that our LOs are about 2-3 years apart. With the cost of living in our area so high, I’m struggling with the fact that I may need to be a SAHM. We can afford for me to do so (luckily), but even with our current baby I knew I was ready to get back to work when my maternity leave was over. How do/did you juggle the costs of a second child? What helped you decide to stay home or go back to work (whether mom, dad, or both)? Finally...I can barely handle this one and our two large (80 lb each) dogs—how do I wrangle all of them plus a newbie? TYIA for any advice!

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Mar 14

    So when I had my first I was excited to go back to work. I remember everyone telling me I would cry and checking on me a bunch that first week, but I was fine. And I wasn’t faking it. I felt like I had it all. Fast forward to request to part time two months before my second child’s due date (they are 17 months apart), and being denied. I quit. I left that day crying wondering who I was without my career, but I also knew that I need more balance in my family’s life. I am now pregnant with number 4, and we’ve got a lab and a cat, so our house is packed. I think that it’s important you do what makes you the best mom. I think I was a better mom of one when I was working, but I don’t think I would have been with two or more. That’s my wiring. Have two close together is a lot of little people needs all day, but it’s also such incredible time. I sometimes actually feel guilty that I missed my sons first year, as I really didn’t get to appreciate stuff I did with my other two. But I remind myself that I did what was best at the time, and by working and paying off loans I allowed me to be able to stay home with them now. There are a lot of tricks to having young kids and being home with them, but Im not sure how to share them. And I’m still learning them. :) I would trust your instincts.

  • Christine
    Mar 15

    So after our second child came we definitely had to decide needs and wants with groceries. Now that my kids are a little older 4 and 2. Our grocery bill went up 100 bucks more. Something to consider. Everything else isn’t to bad. I’m a stay at home mom as well. Just finished my degree and then here comes baby #1. So I absolutely have no experience with working with kids yet. But if you stay at home personal experience. Stay connected with other adults even if it’s people at that park. Good luck!!

  • Amanda
    Mar 15

    This is going to sound terrible but I had no ides how I was going to manage a 2yr old and a new born when my daughter was born. Then I did because I ran out of planning time and she was born. I had no plan and still don't. I am much more dependant on baby wearing this time around. I also taught my son how to help me since he loves to help be involved. Ex. He can give her pacifier back in her mouth. If I tell him to check on her he comes back with asleep or awake and happy /sad / crying status. He brings me diapers and fetches fresh clothes. Little stuff makes him feel involved and loves the baby but can also get him out of the way if needed. I went back to being a SAHM for financial reasons and fomo of my kids lives. I have mom groups and zoo passes and aquarium passes. Making sure you have a way to interact with adults is critical. As is making sure you have some of your own time 100% kid free. For me the hard part of a new baby is readjusting to not sleeping at night when I can't just nap during the day because my toddler needs things too.

  • Alyce
    Mar 15

    Don’t stress over it. Best thing is to try to keep the oldest in their routine as usual. That will help to minimize some chaos. If need be baby wear so you’re hands are free and you can be totally hands on with number 1. No expectations is important. You will learn what works best for everyone and fall into a routine accordingly. And money wise things somehow always seem to work themselves out. My oldest two are 18 months apart then I had twins just 3 years shy of my second oldest. I am a SAHM and money is really tight sometimes but we have always managed. You just have to learn to live within your means as they change which can be a learning curve and not always the most pleasant but you make it work. You’ve got this. Also remember, involve #1 as much as possible.