Posted in Marriage & Partnership

How do I deal with a husband who does not consider me family?

I have been married 7 years and have a toddler with my husband. As my post aptly says I am disrespected. My husband is always saying " You dont behave/talk that way with my family " or I am not interested in anything involved with "your" family. I never almost hear the word "us" or "our".My mother in law is video calling my husband twice everyday and getting to know every little detail that goes on . Even when we visit overseas my husband is always saying that I can stay with my mom and the baby and he will stay with the family and that " his" family couldnt care less about me. My situation is staring me in my face but I am very scared to do the obvious for my daughter's sake. I have tried talking/covincing, tears , anger pretty much everything but no results. Can someone suggest anything?

  • Morgan
    Oct 02

    I would do counseling with him

  • Anonymous
    Oct 02

    Have you asked him about his choice of words? My husband does something similar to yours as far as distinguishing between my family and his family. I remind him that my brothers are his brothers now and that his sister is my sister. He will take a step back and acknowledge that but he still continues to use those words. I guess I’m also a little confused with your post as far as what he’s doing that’s disrespectful to you besides his choice of words and how his family feels about you. People have trouble with their in-laws some times. Some times I feel like my mother and father in law don’t like me... but that has nothing to do with how my husband views me as he is his own person. There have been times that my husband has disrespected me.. but more so in the way that he treats me (ignoring me or telling me my values don’t matter). It has really helped my relationship to ask him how he would feel if he were in my shoes... if I said and did the things that he did to me that hurt. How would he feel? And my husband works on it. He’s not perfect and every once in a while we have the same argument/fight.

  • Anonymous
    Oct 10

    I'd personally be running towards divorce but I have no tolerance for being even slightly disrespected. However, if he is willing to go to counseling, it may be helpful. If he's willing to go it shows he at least has some respect for you. If not, he's not going to wake up randomly one day and become a nicer person. You're not protecting your kid by not making a move... all you're teaching him/her is that men treat women poorly and women obey quietly. Don't wait for the perfect action or the perfect timing, just make some kind of move. You deserve to be happy.