Posted in Bottle Feeding, Nutrition, Parenting Culture

How do I tell my doctor to STFU about cows milk?

My daughter is 9 months old, we breastfeed and she eats solid foods. She’s just started walking on her own this week, very exciting! But our doctor, like he does every visit, kept wanting to talk about getting her on whole milk at one year. But why!? I’m not okay with this. I don’t do cows milk. I tell him every time and I prompt him about almond milk or soy milk or literally anything else and he just dismisses it with “we recommend whole milk”. This guy is like 34 at best, does not have kids, isn’t a pediatrician, just our general doctor. I planned on weaning to using a bottle more around 1, weaning to almond milk or lactose free at least after 2. And it’s not just my weird hippie vendetta against a humans consuming other mammals milk (mammals share milk in nature), it’s pasteurization, preservatives, hormones, additives, these things don’t exist in her diet, and very sparing in my own. I know how both of our guts react to these things and I’m not comfortable with cows milk on the menu. But this guy just doesn’t let it go. Our next appointment is one year in a few months. How do I tell this doctor to stuff it and open a different discussion??

  • Niki
    Nov 13, 2018

    There has to be an alternative to cow's milk and if there isn't, he needs to explain why. He needs to be willing to discuss why he feels so strongly the way he does and he needs to use science to back it up, not his personal opinion. Otherwise, as long as you've done your research and you're comfortable with your decision, then that is all that matters. Consider Vitamin D drops to supplement the lack of cow's milk. If this doesn't happen, I'd change doctors. You have to have a strong relationship with your doc... Your child's life could literally be in his hands at some point.

  • Sumiko
    Nov 14, 2018

    I am not a huge advocate for cows milk but I did my research before doing just almond or soy. I drink almond and didn’t want to have to buy gallons of whole milk just for my 1 year old. All the research I did said whole milk just genuinely had more calcium and some vitamins that 1 year olds need..unless you buy a special type of soy or almond milk that costs 3x more. I personally did whole milk for that reason. Your doctor is recommending what he believes to be right. Just tell him “I see your point of view, but I’d rather do almond or soy for my own personal reasons”, just know most doctors will recommend whole milk. It’s 1 appointment a month until after they’re 1. You only have to deal with that 3 more times. If you like your doctor and that’s all that bothers you then I’d stick with him and express your concerns. If there is more to it and you’re not comfortable, then switch.

  • Elle
    Nov 14, 2018

    Instead of getting angry, you can use it as an opportunity to understand his recommendation. You're free to make whatever decisions you see fit in respect to your child and his/her health, so there's absolutely no harm in learning more about why people are suggesting something - even if it's an issue where you're leaning towards a different direction. #knowledgeispower For instance, if it's a difference in vitD, followup Qs might be 1) what the daily recommended intake of vitD is, and whether supplements can be taken to ensure proper vitD intake. Etc.

  • Aida
    Nov 14, 2018

    Best way to show him to stuff it is finding a new doctor that is aligned with your family’s values. Good luck!

  • Jane
    Nov 14, 2018

    Follow your mothers instinct! Don't even think about a bottle at 1. You can go straight to a cup. Cut out that step! Baby does need fats for brain development. So lots of avocado, salmon. And other fat enriched foods . N.J. xx

  • Lulu
    Nov 14, 2018

    Ignore him! Just smile and nod and then go do your thing! That's what I did when it came to cosleeping, blw, hell even breastfeeding on demand.

  • Abby
    Nov 14, 2018

    Keep breastfeeding

  • Jessica
    Nov 14, 2018

    Honestly, I think I choose him for our daughter because he was my doctor and I liked him. But we moved to Mishawaka from Chicago kind of last minute and I was very unhappy with leaving my doctor in Chicago. They refused to pierce my daughter ears in the hospital after my doctor told me it would be an issue. Like, called CPS and I had to do an interview with a case worker before they’d let me leave because I asked them to pierce my daughters ears. It’s a cultural thing, and my husbands family was livid when we brought her home without pierced ears. I honestly think it’s some bassackwards Indiana practice to refuse any information that’s not exactly what doctors have been told to tell us. He hates co-sleeping. Well I like sleep and so does my baby. He hates breastfeeding past six months. Well I’m still dripping and science, history, and my body say he’s wrong. He didn’t want me to give her food as soon as I did (4 months), baby girl was nearly crawling at 4 months! And he’s always like “she’d make a great case study, she’s sooo advanced.” Ya’ll I have the most biased opinion on my own first born child- she’s slightly ahead of the physical curve, but still average. I have a BA in child development and ECE, so she knows some sign language, we got a little head start maybe, but I seriously wonder if this guy has ever been around kids or knows anything more than reading the basic sheet of information they give us at each check up.

  • Steph
    Nov 14, 2018

    Get a new doctor, high fat non-dairy milk and some vitamins drops should shut anyone up about it. Cows milk is for baby cows, it’s your choice!

  • Brie
    Nov 14, 2018

    The reason he’s saying cows milk is because in cows milk has the right about of nutritional fats and minerals a toddler needs in their diet.

  • Juliana
    Nov 14, 2018

    Whatever milk you decide to give your baby, just make sure it has lots of calcium as it’s very important for their development of their bones. I don’t know if almond milk or soy has calcium but calcium is the biggest reason that the medical field suggests whole milk.

  • Jess
    Nov 16, 2018

    We don't do cow's milk either. Our pediatrician said almond milk does not have enough fat so between the ages of 1-2, use soy milk. There is a new milk that came out recently that doesn't have the GMO or plant estrogens soy milk has with more of the fat and protein they need. It's pea milk. Was hard to find, but more stores selling now.

  • Heidi
    Nov 16, 2018

    Yes the brand is ripple!

  • Kim
    Nov 29, 2018

    He probably won’t care as much at the one year appointment, that’s when my sons pediatrician told us we could transition to cows milk, but if he does - drop him!

  • Michelle
    Jan 27

    Just lie. Say that she’s lactose intolerant and has diarrhea every time you try to give her cow’s milk. My pediatrician gave me the best advice when my daughter was 1. He said you pick the food in your house, and let your daughter chose what she eats/drinks and how much she eats/drinks. I noticed early on that kids who drank milk, didn’t eat other healthier foods. My personal theory was that their body wasn’t craving other foods because it got so much from the milk. I didn’t push milk and my daughter was happy drinking water and eating fruits, veggies, meat, etc. She always had yogurt available to her as a snack between meals. She’s a super fit, tall, strong 14 year old now. Trust your instincts when it comes to your daughter.

  • Nicole
    Mar 20

    Stick to your guns. A great doc will support your choices and help you do the best *within your personal parenting philosophy*. Anything less: dump them and find a new doc! Ask around to see which peds local moms you trust you recommend.