Posted in Divorce & Separation, Marriage & Partnership, Relationships

How do you maintain a relationship with a SO that leaves you

Anonymous

We have two kids, he decided he couldn’t be a full time dad because it was holding him back from his aspirations and he isn’t meant for monogamous relationship (marriage) so he didn’t to separate. He says he cares about me and I’m the best wife anyone could’ve asked for etc. It just hurts so much. I’m so angry. But I need to try and swallow all that to have a healthy co parentship for the few days he wants to spend with the kids. I’ve never had to get over someone and still continue to communicate with them. So for those of you have been through it, how did you?

  • B
    Jul 30

    You do not need to be around him while he’s with the kids. He can take them to his place.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 30

    He lives in an adult only area which causes an issue.

  • B
    Jul 31

    That’s his problem, not yours. He can take them to the playground. I mean, it’s petty. And you’d be nice to let him see them at your house. But if it’s too hard now and you need some space it isn’t an unreasonable ask. You can communicate via email or text about the kids if needed.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 31

    My daughter's father blocked my phone, email, and all social media after realizing I would not abort our daughter. He abandoned her the first year of her life Its infuriating and he disgusts me, but a week before her first birthday he contacted me. He lives in another state and cant afford a hotel so when he visits he stays in my house. Its uncomfortable for me but I make the sacrifice for my daughter. That being said, I 100% regret offering him a place to stay. My home should be the one place I am 100% comfortable and his visits take that away. He's done absolutely nothing to deserve that, but it's hard to take back something you've already given permission to. That being said, your husband made a commitment to marry you and have a child. If he's realized that it's not what he wants, that's on him. You are under no obligation to let him into your home for visits because he chose to live somewhere only adults can venture, especially when you are still coping. Swallowing your feeling for the sake of a child is sometimes necessary, but in this case I think you need to stand your ground. You can offer up suggestions on playgrounds or museums/play spaces they can go to, but you're not obligated to do anything