Posted in Behavior, Sleep, Babies

How long to let your 4mo cry during naps?

My 4mo is currently fighting naps hardcore :( How long is “ok” to let her cry? I don’t want to get in the habit of constantly picking her up— she needs to learn a bit of self soothing and put herself to sleep. I’ll put her down and sometimes she’ll scream bloody murder for up to 10-15min. When I pick her up and she doesn’t nap she’s a NIGHTMARE in the evening. She sleeps perfectly through the evening though! 6:30-6am! Thoughts?

  • Anonymous
    Aug 23, 2018

    I usually would cap out around 20 min for crying! Have you tried adjusting her schedule? I found every few months I had to push naps back and back and back to be sure he was tired and would actually sleep. Maybe try pushing naps a half hour and see if that helps her have less of a fight left

  • Jenn
    Aug 23, 2018

    I'm trying to teach my little one 7 months old to "self sooth" also. I used to hold her to sleep every night (it only took 5 mins ) but I just cant do it every night and it started taking her longer to sleep. Weve been at it for 4 nights.... she screams bloody murder also for a good 10 mins. I'll finally go in , don't pick her up give her the paci back and then leave again. She cries for a sec then passes out. But shell only pass out on her side!

  • Sabrina
    Aug 23, 2018

    Hey mama !! I also have a 4 no th old and fun fact ! They go through a sleep regression in this month !

  • Hillary
    Aug 23, 2018

    Yes the sleep regression is real. As far as cry it out, go with your gut and trust your instinct. What I've read is no longer than an 1 at nap time and for nighttime sleep, as long as needed. I never went that long.

  • Kel
    Aug 23, 2018

    My almost 4 month old is the opposite. She is napping great. Puts herself to sleep but at night has to be held and the minute you put her down she screams

  • Hillary
    Aug 23, 2018

    It's because nighttime sleep uses a different part of the brain than daytime naps. So you can have a great napper but bad night sleeper and vice versa.

  • Jenn
    Aug 24, 2018

    Have you tried going in and trying to soothe her without picking her up? Patting her back or tummy, rubbing her head? That's what I usually do with my 3 month old, but it's rare that I have to do that now. I agree with Anonymous about needing to push her naps. My LO was struggling until I realized she could be awake longer.

  • Jenn
    Aug 24, 2018

    Just to add to my point, my LO usually goes down an hour and a half after she wakes up in the morning but she has been crying more the past couple days. Today I pushed to 2 hours and she went down immediately.

  • Sarah
    Aug 24, 2018

    I don’t let my baby cry. Baby can’t tell the difference between 1 minute and 10 minutes and at 4 months they don’t know enough to realize you are coming back. Crying just gets her even more worked up and then whatever soothing you are doing to finally calm her down just rewards all the crying.

  • Esther
    Aug 24, 2018

    When we sleep trained our little guy we started with three minutes max crying, then 4 and then 5. I’d never let him go more than 5 minutes and I’d pick him up and soothe him if he seemed really upset. I believe you can tell the difference between an angry cry and a scared cry. I believe in encouraging self soothing but I also believe some babies just need more help getting to sleep... also do you do a nap time routine? I found that to be helpful.

  • Paige
    Aug 24, 2018

    Same!!!!! I’m so glad my son isn’t the only one!

  • Paige
    Aug 24, 2018

    My son HATES naps now but starts laughing and getting excited when it’s bed time. :)