Posted in Marriage & Partnership, Sex, Relationships

How often do you have sex

Liz

Hi mommas, very personal question but how often do you all have sex? My husband has a high sex drive and wants it ALL the time. We have it at least 3-4 times a week and that’s not enough for him. I work full time nannying 3 kids( ages 3, 2 & 9 months) and I bring my own 2( ages 2 and 9 months) with me so total I have 5 kids under age 4 that I watch. I’m sooo tired during the week so it’s hard to have desire to do anything then. Plus I’m breastfeeding and really have no sex drive to began with. He always says we need to make more time for each other. I feel like having sex 3-4 times a week is plenty and waaay more then what other parents. Help me guys. What’s your #?

  • Anonymous
    Feb 07

    1-2x a month. I wish it was more like once a week but it is what it is. I’m a SAHM and my husband has a really strenuous job.. so he’s always tired.

  • Kristen
    Feb 07

    1-2x a week, we think we're doing pretty well compared to other couples we know. It's hard to find time and energy!

  • Anonymous
    Feb 07

    Even before baby 3-4 times a week was our normal. Now...wayyyy less than that. Maybe twice a month. Which I hate. But am so tired and our sleeping times don’t match up well

  • Anonymous
    Feb 07

    Before baby it was much better but this days... Hardly 1-2 a month. My husband had the same complaints but he says he understands that I am tired and exhausted at the end of the day. But there are days when he gets angry and bursts out about it..But it is what it is...

  • Anonymous
    Feb 08

    My husband is just like yours. Crazy sex drive that I just don’t have while I’m breastfeeding and taking care of a baby. But it makes him happy so 3-4 times a week. I would be happy with 1 a week honestly

  • Liz
    Feb 08

    Any tips for getting in the mood/energized to do it 3-4 times a week religiously? Some weeks we do it 2 times, some weeks 4 times. Honestly I’d rather just cuddle instead and do it once every other week haha

  • Anonymous
    Feb 08

    Liz, I spend time getting myself mentally prepared throughout the day, knowing I’m doing it as an act of love and to keep our relationship positive, plus getting it over with fast (lol). Sometimes I realize refusal takes longer than just saying yes and doing it 😂 It took me a long time to get to this point though and even some days he goes to sleep mad at me because I’m just too tired. Keeping a consistently healthy diet, and physical activity would help a lot, but I’m not there yet.

  • E
    Feb 09

    Around 2-3 times a week. I stopped rejecting him when he wants sex and I almost never regret it. Makes him happy and sex just feels great so it’s all good lol. Being pregnant too when you don’t feel so sexy but your husband still wants you is like a big self esteem boost 👍🏻

  • Anonymous
    Feb 10

    It seems like a lot of comments on here are from people saying they don't want to have sex but do it anyway because they feel that they have to or need to to make their partner happy. So just a PSA: if you don't want to have sex, you shouldn't have to and your partner should understand that. You shouldn't have to suck it up and go through with it if it isn't what you want. Your partner should be respecting your wants and needs to.

  • Gina
    Feb 14

    Why are so many of you having sex even though you don't want to?!?!?!?! If you are being forced or pressured--directly or indirectly--to have sex out of fear of an unhappy partner, please know that this is not okay.

  • Caitlin
    Feb 17

    It used to be like... once or twice a year? Which sucked on my end, but my spouse didn’t want to have sex, so we didn’t. No pressure. I have a very high sex drive, they have a very low one, but I’d never pressure them to have sex or make them feel like they have to. Lately we’ve been having sex 2-4 times a week, I think? Which has been great! But I make sure my partner knows they don’t have to, and never have sex with them if they seem like they’re just doing it to keep me happy.

  • Amy
    Mar 02

    There's a difference between just not really being in the mood to the moment and having sex anyway as an act of love for your husband, and really not wanting to have sex and feeling pressured or forced to have sex anyway. One is part of a healthy marriage of compromise and being considerate, the other is a problem!

  • Amanda
    Mar 27

    I'm with Gina. I find it super weird you guys are having sex you don't want. My happy place is 3-4 times a week. Right now we are in a slump so once a week but that happens with a new baby. We never pressure each other but also make sure the other knows when we want it. I can't imagine having sex I didn't want but hubby and I talk a lot about our needs so it's good for both of us and all our needs are being met even when the need is to not be touched

  • Anonymous
    Apr 08

    Don’t hate me for saying this, but my husband and I both have very high sex drives. Before baby it was 4-5x a week, and after it can vary anywhere from 2-5x.