Posted in Behavior, Mental Health, Toddlers

How to discipline a two year old.

Hello moms and dads I have a two year old that is out of control all the time. Hes only good at home. We just can't go anywhere any more. The minute we step out the door tantrums start. First is refusing the car seat, then once we arrive at our destination it's the stroller. We try walking but he'll hit and scream his head off. I just picked him up and got my lip split from his squirming and currently we’re sitting in the car waiting for him to calm down. It's been 20 mins and he’s still crying. I can't do it anymore! I'm exhausted and I'm a wreck. I can't cope with this behavior any longer. I'm crying from anger. I feel like I'm a failure and how will I cope with baby number two if I can't cope with this one

  • Allison
    May 28

    Right there with ya mama. I took a 1-2-3 magic class but I’m having a hard time actually seeing it through. I need my own flat. He gets spoiled too often and I can’t seem to get on a schedule no matter how hard we try. Naps are no longer a thing during the day. And he’s got his last few teeth breaking through. I just pulled 43 hours last week with the holiday. This mama is exhausted. I kinda wish daddy was on board but we don’t have time for his drama too :( 🤟🤞✌️

  • Anonymous
    May 28

    What does he like/enjoy? When is he happy? What makes him happy? I’m assuming he doesn’t talk much yet?

  • Anonymous
    May 28

    I know a lot of doctors would say it’s too early but consider having him tested for an ASD or a possible issue with anxiety. My best friends son (now 12) was very similar. Had a very hard time outside of the house. She kept pursuing it and he was finally assessed and diagnosed with Asperger at age 4. I’m not saying that’s what’s going on but just keep an open mind. Otherwise it could just be general anxieties. Maybe you can ask him or try to give him warnings that it’s time to leave, time to get In the car, time to go to the store, etc. just keep a calm and clear head and stay consistent.

  • Jenn
    May 28

    Have you tried giving him choices that both end up with what you want (ex: do you want to climb in the car with mommy's help or do you want mommy to put you in?). Also, what is the structure like in your house? If he can basically do whatever he wants at home, and then has a lot of boundaries once you leave the house, that could be confusing for him. I'd suggest giving him similar type choices at home and maybe imposing more boundaries at home if needed. This way you can have him practice in a safe place for both of you.

  • Marika
    May 28

    Did something unpleasant/traumatic occured for him as you went out somewhere? I am asking because my little one was just like yours as he was 2 after his first dentist appointment which was super traumatic for him...I think it took him a month until he was ok again. In that month I sometimes wouldn't take him out with me if someone was home and if I took him out I would always explain our destination and what we will do there. Eventually it got better and better and the behavior completely disappeared after a month.

  • Elena
    May 28

    Marika he did go to doctor he has severe constipation issues and we are waiting for the results and he did need some doctor assistance to get the poop out now that I think about it he is extra grumpy since. But to be honest I am told by friends that it's just hes terrible twos

  • Elena
    May 28

    Jenn he gets to choose what to eat or play with whether to get in the car with or with out help and I feel like that is what's making him ask for more if he doesn't get hes way or doesn't like eather of the choices or I just dont have time to ask because we are running late he goes crazy and in some places you just dont get to pick he need to just be nice at some errands

  • Elena
    May 28

    Allison I'm sorry you are having troubles two it's so hard sometimes I wish my sons dad was here too he left us and it's so hard to cope on my own with no help my family is aboard I'm all alone just a couple of friends that amcant provide the help I need at this time

  • MsPallavi
    May 28

    Hi ! Twos are all about figuring out their world and with that said, they're also forming egos and understanding of their power and control. Its really important that you have transitions with them, letting them know to be ready in a new environment is really important. Two year olds need predictability and anchoring points throughout the day. Hence, staying at home is the best for him, he is able to predict that it is his safe space. Main thing to know is that they thrive on needing to know what is next and for them to be ready. If there is one thing I've learned in the 11 years of guiding parents and children is " YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE 15 MINUTES AHEAD OF THE CHILD." if you're going to the mall make sure he knows and you have count downs to the minute you're about to leave. " We have to go in 10 min, we have to go in 7 min, ok here is your 5 min. Now one min - your one minute is almost up- 10, 9 , 8 ,7...- sorry, we have to go. you can get upset if you'd like its ok to feel upset. I love you and i hope you feel better but we have to go now. " And be strong in what you've said. DONt give in to the cries and yelling, tell your self and him " EVERYONE GETS UPSET WHEN THEY DONT GET WHAT THEY WANT." sorry if my writing is so scattered. I hope you get the point. And please reach out to me if ou have other questions!

  • Elena
    May 29

    Mspallavi thank you so much

  • MsPallavi
    May 30

    Glad I could help