Posted in Marriage & Partnership, Relationships

Hurt or petty?

Anonymous

So I’ve been seeing these posts on fb how it says “Dad should take pictures of Mom randomly when she’s doing stuff with the kids so they can look back on it etc”.. my husband never does. And I always take pictures of him with our babies at home or when we’re out. And now it’s starting to make me feel bad. My first Mother’s Day he didn’t do anything, doesn’t do anything on my birthday, Valentine’s Day, etc. saying he’s not giving into corporate holidays etc. but come Christmas he gets presents for his mom and niece/nephew. I’ve recently became a sahm so I don’t complain about no gifts since he is supporting the babies and I, so is it wrong to feel hurt over it? Does anyone else feel this way? Or is it just petty?

  • Anonymous
    Mar 26

    It’s not wrong to feel hurt. But if you are, you need to talk to him about it so that he has the chance to change. I say this while currently mad at my husband because he also isn’t stepping up. But we talked a few weeks ago and at least he’s trying a little more. He didn’t understand what was important to me and why

  • Kristina
    Apr 06

    Mine doesn’t either. He doesn’t ever make the attempt to do anything like that for me. Not even with each other. It really really sucks

  • Anonymous
    Apr 06

    I have about a hundred pictures of him with the kids and just selfies of me and them. It just feels like there’s not a lot of romance at all

  • Anonymous
    Apr 08

    Take the 5 love languages test with your husband. Before marriage, my main love languages were touch and quality time, but now it’s receiving gifts and quality time. Make sure he understands how important it is to you to feel loved, and that he knows the best ways to show you. It was an adjustment for my hubs to switch from touching me to show me he loves me, to giving me gifts. They don’t have to be big gifts. The main thing for me is knowing that he was thinking about me when he bought/made/planned it. I found when we took the test again after being married for a while, and started making a real effort to speak one another’s languages, it made a huge difference in our marriage. For several months, I was feeling like he wasn’t understanding how much I loved him and I wasn’t receiving the love I thought I should be. Then we took the test and found out my love language had switched. It made all the difference in the world. If he’s open to it, read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, and take the test in the back. It’ll seriously change the way you communicate love to one another. But you both have to be willing to change the way you communicate that love, or nothing happens and you both are frustrated.

  • Anonymous
    Jun 26

    I felt this way at too, like I have way too many pictures of them and dad but not really with me in them, I finally just had to blurt it out every time, ‘quick, go grab your phone and take a picture’ of course they don’t always come out looking nice but at least it’s something, not trying to down play guys but really unless you speak up they are not going to just automatically do something for you , even if it’s simple