Posted in Marriage & Partnership, Time Management, Relationships

Husband always working and uses it as excuse

Anonymous

Husband works 9-7 5 days a week and most nights when he comes home he continues to work til midnight. We’ve talked and fought and now go in circles about how he never takes the kids or gives me a break. On weekends he sleeps in while I get up at 7-8 am to get the kids dressed and fed, then he will sit on his laptop and work all day and meanwhile I’m left alone again all day with the kids. I’m feeling miserable and alone and not sure what to do since talking never helps, he just says he can’t help since he’s busy working.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 18

    Obviously I don’t know much about your relationship but you need to sit down and talk about your husband’s priorities. You and the kids are not it. But before you discuss this with him, you need to think and see how far are you willing to push this; push comes to shove, do you want to be single? Since you have already talked and fought about this; you need to decide how far you can go. Write down some things to discuss with him and not to argue. Look for a good time to have this discussion. Working isn’t life and he’s missing out on the family and before he knows it; he’ll have missed out on a lot and won’t get that back. Maybe he shouldn’t bring work home during the week or weekends. And, if he won’t prioritize, you either move on or come to terms with being a “single parent” within the relationship; as you won’t expect anything from your husband in raising the children. Parenting is hard especially with a spouse who isn’t present even tho he is there.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 18

    That’s exactly how I’ve felt, like I’m the single parent. And unfortunately his job requires him to work a lot, and he is able to make good money that way, but he seems to think he doesn’t need to take care of the kids ever. He does do dishes and food shops, but he doesn’t get up to get the baby or just take the kids on his own unless I ask several times. Some people I don’t think have that nurturing quality, but it’s hard for me to decide whether to stay or leave. I am going to suggest counseling, and if things aren’t better in a few months reevaluate I think.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 18

    Couple Counseling is a great step to take if sitting down and discussing between you two isn’t working out. Hopefully he will be open to that and it will work out. Good luck and keep doing your part with your kiddos.