Anonymous

Husband is so negative

My husband gets In these moods every week or so where he gets irritated over anything and everything. Last night he took over dinner because I wasn’t making it right. If I did this to him he would be pissed at me. I let him take over and then he follows me around complaining and scolding me in front of the kids. Other nights I ask him to watch dinner so I can watch the kids and he gets nasty about it (he will be watching tv after working so he isn’t watching kids or helping with dinner and I am trying to do both then giving them baths. I work full time too!) He is hot and cold constantly and out of nowhere. His mom acts the same way and he complains that she does this to his dad but he does the exact same to me !! Basically until he acts like a total jerk to all of us he can’t get over his pissy mood. I can’t even have an adult conversation about it because he wants me to drop it and if I don’t, I am just being a drama queen. It is so damn frustrating! Our kids are going to be just like him in the same way he is just like his mom. He always has an excuse and I don’t know how to explain that no, he is just being a jerk and if this is how he chooses to act over and over he isn’t crabby or tired or hungry, he is just a jerk and if he doesn’t change, our kids will be just like him with their spouse. At what point is it better to raise your kids in a single parent home so they can have some emotional constancy? I am not perfect but who bitches at someone for not making dinner the right way?! He keeps saying he will work on it but does nothing and I am 90% sure he will continue to do nothing.

  • Anonymous
    May 21

    I’d talk to him about it when the kids aren’t around and he’s not doing it. Have a concrete example and the effects it has in you and the kids. I’d also try couples counseling personally.

  • CheerioMama
    May 23

    Sounds like he may have an undiagnosed mental illness. Nothing to be ashamed of at all btw. It could be bipolar or anxiety. Anger and irritation is one of the lesser known symptoms of anxiety. That, or he just has a lack of self control.

  • Samuel
    May 25

    Therapy.

  • Samuel
    May 28

    Sounds like a control problem that he has, what does he do for work? It's highly possible that he has no control while he's at his job and so he could be taking that out at home it also sounds like an anger problem then honestly he could probably do with some therapy this isn't resolved itself. He needs to learn that the only things he has control over is himself his thoughts and his deeds anything other than that is out of his control and he needs to accept that. I suggest that he read some books about stoicism

  • Anonymous
    Jun 09

    @samuel, he works in law enforcement so I think it is the opposite. He controls everything and bosses everyone around then gets home and wants to control all of us. He went to 2 therapy sessions and wouldn’t read what the counselor gave us. His work schedule makes it nearly impossible to attend therapy.

  • Anonymous
    Friday

    RECORD HIM! Then show him later when he says you're being a drama queen. The tell him counseling or you have to leave the home until you change! YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!