Posted in In-Laws, Marriage & Partnership, Relationships

I am so disappointed with my husband

Anonymous

We have a 2yo daughter, and we’re also expecting our 2nd. We currently live with his father. His sister lives in the same neighborhood. Recently our daughter has become super picky and selective with her meals. She’ll easily skip lunch, snacks and dinner. As you can imagine I’m super stressed and have been considering taking her to see her pediatrician. I’ve noticed that my husband’s family is obsessed with sweets even though his father is a severe diabetic. They have cookies, cupcakes, chocolates and all types of candy in the house. When my sister in law comes by she’ll just give our daughter candy without running it by me at all. When Im in the kitchen making dinner, my FIL will just start offering chocolate to our daughter, even though he sees me making dinner. I spoke to my husband about it, (his family is super sensitive and I thought it would be better if he speaks to them instead) my husband said he would speak to them, but obviously did not. When my SIL came by today, he allowed her to take our daughter without a jacket, pants nor shoes to her house. When I asked him to please go get her an hour later because it was time for lunch and then a nap; he was scared to go get her because he thought he would upset his father, after he saw me getting angry he went and brought our daughter back with a box of cookies. Of course she didnt want lunch and cried bloody murder because she wanted the cookies instead. I don’t know if we’re clashing so much because of cultural differences, but I feel like Im the only one looking out for our kid’s well being. It’s frustrating especially because im due in one month, and I honestly feel like I have no one to rely on. Sorry for the long post.

  • Anonymous
    Oct 08

    I think it's a man thing. they just really easily seem to glaze over details.... like pants and shoes! It doesn't end here unless you take time to have a serious discussion with your husband and let him know how stressed and worried you are and that you need to be able to rely on him. Make her the doctors appointment and tell the in-laws some of the "healthy eating habits" you were given by the doctor and express to the in-laws (in a kind friendly casual way) that you want to try it out. Bring home some pamphlets on child diabetes, or any other reading materials that pertain to healthy eating for children. If the family is sensitive you gotta be a little more psychologically strategic and bring it up in informative educational way rather than demanding.....but who knows, maybe after baby #2 you will just take no sh*t and tell them all straight up how you want things and see what happens lol! it will work out, for now just try to stay stress free, good luck mama

  • HR
    Nov 09

    You could give your husband an ultimatum—“You tell your family, or I will.” It’s also possible that he could be telling them, but they just won’t listen to him; either way, you might have to be the one to speak up. Your husband will need to back you 110% on everything though. For example, my family won’t listen to me (about anything, honestly), but if my husband says something they’re more likely to follow through... but they’ll ask me about it later. I have to make it abundantly clear that my husband’s right and I agree 110%, or else we end up right back where we started. Even then, his family will try to press the boundaries—you both need to up your ante and stick to your guns on this. It’ll be tough, but it’s for your kid’s own good.