Posted in Child Care, In-Laws

I don’t trust my boyfriend’s family to help with my son when he’s born.

I am currently 18 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend told me that his family will watch and care for our son while I work. I always wanted to have my own money and take care of myself, but I’m ready to throw all of that away to protect my son. I do not trust his family. In short, they’ve shown me time and time again that they are incapable of taking care of themselves, I’ve been around while they were babysitting and they clearly have no idea how to properly care for children. I have voiced my concerns to my boyfriend several times and he gets offended, insisting that his family is perfect. He even wants to live with them and I would rather break up with him and be a single mother. I feel like my concerns are extremely valid, but maybe I am crazy. If you want more details about what specifically concerns me: 1) his mother goes to the ER every three weeks with severe vomiting, one of the babies in the family had to go to the ER too, they found listeria in their blood 2) I refuse to eat in their home or use a plate without rewashing it as all of the dishes still have traces of food on them and they have a serious roach problem, they also dilute their soap/cleaning products with water 3) one day I visited and the gas was left on, the whole house reeked of carbon monoxide and I immediately felt sick upon walking in, I begged my boyfriend to check on his family and he found them sleeping upstairs, including his baby nephew 4) I’ve been over while they were baby sitting a baby that’s only a few months old, at some point the baby started shrieking and of all the years I’ve been watching newborns and babies, I have never heard any scream like that, I had to beg my boyfriend to go make sure everything was okay 5) another time I visited, I found used diapers on my boyfriend’s pillow that his family had left there 6) one of their dogs died from severe dehydration and they still leave the other dog outside without food or water My logic is: I wouldn’t trust his family with my cat, so how could I trust them with son?

  • B
    Nov 17, 2019

    Oh hell no. Usually I think people are being over protective. But not a chance I’d leave my kid unsupervised there. Ever.

  • anonymous mom
    Nov 21, 2019

    No way. NO WAY. Your instincts are valid, your feelings are valid. Your boyfriend needs to wake up and stop worrying about offending his parents! Priorities!!

  • May DeLosh
    check_circleChild Care Provider Nov 24, 2019

    I run a daycare/preschool for more than 12 years. Researches have found that most accidents happen at home. It is so true! From the 12 years of my professional career, 2 children broke their arm bones and one boy's face got burned by a light bulb when he climbed onto a table and somehow was able to grab the hot light bulb and placed it on his face. Those accidents all happened at their HOMES. Their parents are all very loving people, but not trained professionally for taking care of babies. I think that your boyfriend has a loving family. That's the reason he thinks his family is perfect. But, you are right, they are not capable to take a good care of your baby. Always trust your gut! Good luck :-)

  • CheerioMama
    Dec 01

    Keep that baby as far away from those people as possible. Get rid of your man if you have to.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 09

    The thing that sucks about a situation when you’re partner isn’t on board is if you split and they get half custody or some sort of time, your baby is going to be with his family when it’s his days. Tell him to do some research see if you can find childcare you can afford? Or work opposite times from him so you can each take turns working? I hope you find something that works out. I get the feeling.