Posted in Breastfeeding, Mental Health, For Moms

I hate breastfeeding

Anonymous

Planning baby number two and I can’t get over the pressure of breast feeding. My first didn’t have a problem with breast feeding but it just wasn’t for me honestly. The day I gave him formula my mood changed, his mood changed, it felt like such a huge relief. I feel so guilty for not wanting to with my second.... the first question people ask is “are you breastfeeding?” I’d feel like such a failure 😭 I know, fed is best. But the mom guilt is real.

  • Crystal
    Feb 07

    You should not feel guilty for doing something that is not right for you and your baby. I think most people ask as a conversation not judgement. Just confidently/nonchalantly say that you're bottle feeding. No explanation needed, don't defend yourself, just say it. Practice saying it lol. Because it's not best if your baby isn't as happy, which means he's not as healthy.

  • Jenn
    Feb 08

    Do what is best for your mental, emotional, and physical health because that is how you will be the best for you baby and older child. I tried breastfeeding and when my LO wouldn't latch, it tried exclusively pumping. I hated it and was a zombie. I decided to give her formula and our whole lives changed. Not 100% sure what I'll do with the 2nd but I'm not opposed to starting off with formula.

  • Tara
    Feb 08

    I BF my first to 6 months and felt such pangs of guilt every time she got a cold, at how puny she seems as a toddler or when people would suggest BFing to soothe her teething etc. I’m still EBFing my second at 1.2 years- no pumped milk or formula even- and honestly, he still wakes at night, catches as many colds as my first and IMO I believe there are equal advantages to disadvantages. People talk of bonding, and I didn’t pump/ bottle feed my second to deepen the intimacy of BFing- AND seriously, I feel as/ if not more intimately connected to my first, my Exclusively Bottle Fed at 6 months, as I do her little brother... the guilt is just there and is real and is unfortunately for us, part and parcel of motherhood (for some if not all). Good luck!

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Feb 08

    I think as with most things you have to do what makes you the best mom. Which means the physically and emotionally healthiest so you can give your kid your best. That could mean bfing or formula or cosleeping or cry it out. Whatever gives you the balance of personal fullness so you have the ability to give to your child.

  • Aje
    Feb 09

    For me breastfeeding I felt encouraged a bond with my first but now I’m expecting twins I don’t know how I can handle it physically as it is difficult at times. I think I’ll try but if I’m a happier mom and a better caregiver not doing it then I think that will be best for the babies. Better a happy mom than a stressed or depressed one. People are always trying to tell moms what they should do but we have to do and decide what works best for us and our families. Don’t feel guilt. There’s nothing wrong with formula. If you feel that bad you can try pumping if it’ll make you feel better. For me I hated pumping HATED it. So idk if that will be an option for me this time around. People are telling me that I need to try not to have a c section and that I have to make my babies sleep together and I’m only a few weeks pregnant. It’s annoying and though I’m sure they mean well I don’t need people who are not my dr and totally unaware of the risks to me and my babies telling me how I should give birth. I mean there is one person who has literally brought up my labor like 3 or 4 times insistent I not have a section. While I prefer natural like my first the situation with twins is completely different and so much more complicated. People need to keep their opinions to themselves.

  • Stephnie
    Feb 10

    Breastfeeding is THE reason I won’t have a second. No shame!

  • Elle
    Feb 13

    Why would you feel guilty? If his disposition suddenly changed for the better once on formula, I'd say you did the very best for him by giving him formula, rather than let him go undernourished in some way. The faster you can let go of other people's opinions, the more you can focus purely on doing what's right for you and your family without distraction and without doubts.

  • Carissa
    Feb 19

    I completely understand how you feel...I didn’t enjoy breastfeeding my first and had that same feeling of relief when I was done...I’m currently breastfeeding my second and even though it’s going really well I still can’t wait to be done and think a lot of my frustrations are because of nursing...just having no real independence sucks. Even if I’m away from him I have to pump all the time to keep up my supply and keep myself from being uncomfortable. The worst part is that it keeps me from being able to enjoy time with my older child...I’ll be playing with her and have to drop everything to get up and go feed him even if someone else in the house is taking care of him it really is a full time job