Posted in Siblings, Grade Schoolers, Preschoolers
Ava

I have a 4 and a 5 year old they play together all of the time they sit next to each other in the car and play Barbies together * etc.*and they sometimes are BFFs but other times there mortal enemies how do I stop the fighting ?

  • Hal
    Apr 14, 2018

    Lol you don't. I'm kidding but some fighting is very normal, I don't think you should worry as long as it's not seriously escalated or constant Most siblings that close in age fight but making up is the key. As long as they know to come back and forgive and reunite it's likely normal. Also fighting at that age comes from lack of communication skills mostly so I'd just keep practicing modelling and guiding language "Instead of fighting what could we say here?" "Have you used your words? Tell X what's you want/why you're angry"

  • Ava
    Apr 14, 2018

    Why thank you

  • Wayne
    Apr 14, 2018

    It's called being siblings :)

  • Vicki
    Apr 14, 2018

    My girls are (almost) 3 and 4 so I can commiserate. Good to know they aren’t the only ones!

  • Barbara
    Apr 14, 2018

    My sister and I didn’t get along until I was 11 and she was 13 ... my kids are also a year apart and for the most part the get along well. Just continue to model good communication skills maybe reward them for working it out on their own. My mom actually tied my sister and I together with panty hose at the ankles and wrist sooo 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ but hey we are best friends now

  • Ava
    Apr 20, 2018

    Haha thanks many I’ll put them in a t-shirt lol I love the panty hoes idea too!!

  • Aurelia
    Apr 23, 2018

    I ask if they are fighting or playing. If they don’t say fighting they realize they are being too rough and calm down. If they say fighting (they don’t actually say fighting unless it’s to be cheeky, then the other one laughs and that slows them down) I talk to them about what happened, why each person isn’t happy, and what each one wants. Then go from there. I agree with Hal. It’s about communication. They misinterpret emotions, they don’t understand boundaries, they forget to think of the other, they’re tired or hungry. I also remind them that they love their brother and he loves them.

  • Kailey
    Apr 25, 2018

    Sometimes it is just a misunderstanding due to lack of communication skills. I would listen and not interfere. I would step in if it gets violent or just to say a clarifying sentence. Really it is a good way for them to learn each other’s boundaries and how to communicate more effectively.