Posted in Family Life, Mental Health, Multiple Children

I love my children but hate my life

I have two young daughter 30 months and 2 months old. The transition to number two is a struggle. I catch myself everyday crying and don’t know what to do. Don’t get me wrong imnt a bad mom actually everyone thinks i rock motherhood but no one seems to care about my struggles. My 1st is very stubborn and won’t listen to me she hits me and won’t say sorry or if we go to the park she won’t follow the rules and wont leave without a scene. Also, when it comes to clothes she will wear what she wants and never pick what i had chosen for her (she likes to wear heavy outfit even if its 90 degrees). My second one refuses the bottle so i must be near her and she would wake me up at least 4 times to nurse her. Going out is a nightmare coz she can’t stand the carseat. I started to lose my social life coz ppl don’t want to spend time with me anymore plus I don’t have family near by. Husband sometimes takes care of the 1st one but he refuses to make a plan and take turns with the kids. I love my kids but i need time for myself

  • Holly Garnett-Pedreira
    Jun 22

    I can be your online friend 😁 I'm sorry you're going through this. Motherhood is very tough at times. Ask your husband to watch them so you can take a well needed break one of these days. Toddlers go through stages where they act up. My son went through the hitting, pinching, screaming and not listening... it gets better, I promise! Your husband should be helping you get through these tough stages. Ask for help, sometimes men need to be told what to do instead of expecting (I've learned that from this app) luckily my husband has always helped tremendously. We do have problems arguing tho.. everyone has problems hun. I sure struggle in motherhood as well, I think every mother does! And if they say they dont they are a damn lie 😂 good luck and if you want to vent or talk I'm here. I dont have any friends either, I moved from my home town because the people weren't good to be around.

  • K
    Jun 22

    You are not alone sister. You need some alone time for sure. It’s hard as hell. We can love our kids, be badass moms and struggle with the weight of it all. My husband has no clue, no idea what we do on a daily basis. I have a 4 year old and twin 19 mth old girls, who give me a run for my money everyday. You need to demand some alone time. I completely get how unbelievably hard it is, usually more work than it’s seem worth it, but it is. Took me too long to start doing it. I also exclusively nursed...still do, so in the beginning it’s all on you and there is a time constraint. Start out simple, go from there. I’m with Holly, lets vent!!!!!!

  • Maureen
    Jun 24

    Maybe when you take the 2 year is to the park you can have a quick talk before you get out, “ now we are at the park and we will play and have fun but when it’s time to go it’s time to go” maybe the warning and talking about it beforehand will make it go over a little smoother each time. My 2 year old also hates the car seat - I’ve found that when he can bring a toy or book with him it helps, and he demands nursery rhymes so I just either suffer through them or sing them myself which he loves. I agree with the above, sometimes we have to tell our other half what we need from them in order for it to happen. A supporting partner would and should be glad to help however possible especially if you’re struggling emotionally. Sometimes talking about it all will help too so vent here and please see a therapist too they are totally 100% here for us and we all need someone sometimes. Much love sista!!

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jun 26

    I bet giving the two year old more power will help. I know it seems horrible to let your child wear warm clothes in hot weather, but just throw shorts and a T-shirt in the diaper bag, and let her wear what she wants. My guess is her behavior stems from Feeling powerless so the more you can let her make the choices the better she’ll be. Ask yourself before setting a limit why you are doing it and what choices you can give her. Do you want to go to this park Or that park? Do you want leave in five minutes or two minutes? Do you want to eat the strawberries first or the cheese? Do you want climb in the car or do you want help? And if it isn’t worth the battle, don’t make it one. I’ve even said stuff like “you know, mommy wasn’t thinking and she set a limit that actually has flexibility in it. Can you ask me nicely to wear the green shirt today and then we can try this situation over again?”

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jun 26

    Also all that being said, it is so hard and overwhelming and easy to lose yourself. I feel like that often. I’ve found that reclaiming a few of my interests or passions in a limited/modified basis has helped a lot. I do volunteer work that is remote and very flexible that gives me intellectual stimulation. I do workouts at the park whenever one is playing nicely just to get one in. This one is hard but Recently my husband has been bold enough to do bedtime with the kids while I go to a boxing class once a week and that is like gold. But most of the time in the past, I was squeezing moments in utilizing parks or tv to just reset my brain and feel slightly human. Hang in there!!