Posted in Family Life, In-Laws
CJN

I'm having work done in my house and for the meantime my son and I are staying at my in-laws[out of state] house while my husband is still staying at the house in order to still go to work and lately I've felt like I am a hindrance. I hardly ever ask them to help out with the baby. I don't want to ask for too much. I can feel the vibe that it's a bother. I purposely make a point to make sure that my lo is asleep while I do things that require not being able to watch him. Yesterday my MIL told my husband that she feels that ever since we have been staying with her that she can't do the things that she needs to do, feeling guilty when I mostly do everything and she should help out. I'm not looking for help. I felt broken inside. I appreciate everything she does for us she is more than like a mom to me but it hurts that she feels that way. But when she said that I got mad because sometimes I just need a break I'm a stay at home mom and I do All of the feedings. It frustrates me that people just want to play with my son but never want to help me out. I know it's hard work especially feeding him takes an hour or so plus burping/spit up.... ever since I had my son I always felt that I couldn't ask for help because I know it's work and not knowing if they really want to that I don't want to make anyone feel like they can't hold my baby and that I want to be selfish with him.. I just can't get this off my mind and I just want to know if anyone has this feeling or experience the same thing .. thanks for reading I know this is alot!!!

  • Ellen
    Mar 08, 2018

    I’m a stay-at-home-mom too so I totally understand! I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like to ask for help unless I need to. But that puts a lot of pressure and stress on me so I got PPD before. Have you been screened for PPD or PPA? You sound like you really need a break to do something for yourself and relax, just a few hours, get out of the house. My daughter is 15 month old and I have been taking care her by myself since she was born... no family, friends or babysitters. I was so burnt out and I blew up so much. Maybe you can talk to your MIL and arrange some time for yourself while she watches the baby and she can do what she wants when you take care of the baby?

  • CJN
    Mar 13, 2018

    Thanks Ellen that makes me feel better! My husband is really good with making sure I do things for myself which is a blessing! Lol