Does the In-Laws buy Christmas present for you? Is it bad if they don’t buy you anything? My husband family doesn’t buy me gifts but buys his brothers wife gifts.
My family buys him gifts.
I would take it personally, but that’s just me. (My husbands family don’t celebrate Christmas so I don’t experience this) Maybe they have a reason like, they’re not sure what you like or want 🤷🏼♀️ You should buy them gifts personally (like from you, not your kids and husband) and see how they react/if they reciprocate.
I have done that before and they don’t do or say anything. They usually turn to my husband and say thanks and then my husband will say ,”don’t think me my wife go it”. Even when it says from my name. It makes me mad. My husband just says don’t worry about it and they only give him money. But it upsets me and makes me not want to visit them.
I’m so sorry! I would be upset too. Would you ever be willing to talk to them openly? I would need to understand their reasoning and clear the air.
Maybe. My husband likes to handle issue with his family himself because I’m not good at expressing myself without coming across really mean and hateful when I don’t mean to.
When my husband and I had our first Christmas with his family his mother didn’t get my kids or our kid anything and only got his kids something. It was a big deal and made a lot of ppl mad at her for that and he yelled at his mom. I haven’t really gotten over that because she hasn’t said sorry to me and probably never will. It has been over 10yrs now and I need to move on but its hard. I’m my husbands 2nd wife and I think they don’t like that. The first wife died within 3yrs after they got married from cancer. And I don’t think they have moved on and accepted that I’m the wife now. Pretty sad that it has been 13yrs together and they still don’t call me their daughter in-law.
I’m sorry your husband’s family doesn’t seem to appreciate you. I would also be pissed about this. Since this does bother you, I would talk to my husband and share my feelings; and maybe it’s time you stopped going over there for Christmas. It sucks when your in-laws aren’t what you want. I always wanted hands off in-laws and I got very very hands off in-laws. So much that my daughter has only seen her father side grandparents twice and she is year old. My husband loves to remind me I wanted a hands off mother in law 🤷🏻♀️
My MIL usually always gets all of us something. Now that there are 10 grandkids we’ve told her not to waste her money on the adults. We also don’t do a traditional Christmas with his family DH grandma gives out cards on thanksgiving with money for everyone in them and his mom stops by ours and his 2 brothers houses around Christmas to spend a little time with each family. So she could’ve spent way more on my SIL than myself and I’d never know.
First, stop buying them gifts - if you can buy them something and not feel bad not receiving something- that would be one thing. Sounds like you buy and get resentful when you don’t receive anything. Means love yourself enough to stop trying to gain their approval.
If they don’t buy anything for your children- then don’t take your children over there either. Why put your family in a place where there is no love being fed. They will either change their ways or not. If they decide to change- be open to kindness- But now they have to come to you.
It is your job to be respected and protect your family from hate, and don’t allow your anyone to make your children feel as though they are not enough.
Remember your children are watching and what you allow is what they will allow - no one should have to be treated that way.
I couldn't have said it better Sonia!!!
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