It's incredibly difficult to get pregnant

I have never been pregnant and this is my first time trying. I went to the obgyn about a year ago and she said to wait until I have been trying for at least a year. it's been off and on of trying with my fiancé since then, because of his child from his previous relationship, going to court to try for equal time- sharing for both parents and the stress that comes with that. We aren't making big efforts to get pregnant but have plans to once the court case is over. My only question is, will that really relax us enough to conceive a baby? Is there something I should or could be doing less or more to get this bun in the oven? I have dreams of being a mom so the sooner the better. Beyond ready, just not getting results.

  • Julie
    Nov 01

    Stress can be a huge factor in getting pregnant. I have many friends and friends of friends who tried for years and just when they decided to no longer try, they got pregnant. So as soon as they decided to live a different life than what they expected and relaxed about it the got pregnant:). I had to go through IVF and what helped me was acupuncture and meditation. That doesn’t mean that’ll work for you...just think of what you do to relax and unwind and try that daily. Even when you’re not thinking about it, it affects you!! Try to relax and pregnancy will hopefully come. Good luck!!

  • Cathy
    Nov 01

    Go on a trip (if you can) and have all the sex. We tried off and on too and then we went to Tahiti and BAM! LOL. If you can’t, run a warm bath (together or alone), have some wine and just focus on each other. However, I probably wouldn’t give it another year, maybe 6 months if you have sort of been trying already. Whatever you do, relax relax relax.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 01

    Yup! Stress can effect you for sure. If you’re DEAD SET on wanting to get pregnant then just take ovulation tests. Really there’s a 24-48 hour window ONLY a month to get pregnant in.... the chances are so slim to be honest. An ovulation test will tell you when to get to work!

  • Hailey
    Nov 01

    Thank you! Once this court case is over and we have a little one to care for and not worry about, I am going to start taking all my vitamins again, buy ovulation tests and make a appt with my obgyn!

  • Anonymous
    Nov 01

    Hailey, I used the clear blue digital ovulation gives you 4 days, 2 close to ovulation and day of and day after. I used them and did get preggo but atm we had issues and had miscarriages but ended up with quality issues on hubbys side so we have done 3 rounds of iui with donor and we have 2 babies. One round last yr for my son now im 9 weeks with my next. Stress definitely plays a part but if your not having any luck after 6 months of checking ovulation then id check in with a dr to make sure there are no problems. Also get on prenatals before you start trying if you can, folic acid is very important in the first few months Good luck :-)

  • Hailey
    Nov 01

    Havent bought any ovulation tests yet, have bottle of prenatal vitamins and vitamin for him for conceiving that we are waiting until after court start taking daily , evening promise oil (helps with breast pain during pms) that I do take occasionally, I bought progesterone cream that I found helps with ph balance and others that i use when my calender app says im ovulating, but I will definitely buy that brand when I start buying ovulation tests thank you!

  • Anonymous
    Nov 01

    Thats cool, also you may ovulate diff to what an app says unless you already know. I ovulated a day or two later than most as my cycles where longer. Most apps have it set @14 days i had to change mine. Also certain lubes can hinder baby making, its not the right environment for the sperm. Clear blue digital are more expensive but in my opinion well worth it!

  • Hailey
    Nov 01

    Oh no lubricants in this house. Haha! It's a lotion filled with all sorts of good stuff I rub it on my legs belly, arms, etc during ovulation time. I'm going to hold on to it for when I start to buy my ovulation tests from now on though

  • Anonymous
    Nov 01

    Cool, I had probs with being on antidepressants so we used lube before but not when ttc after i did lots of reading lol. Its amazing what medicine can do to your body without you realizing it.

  • Kay Jay
    Nov 02

    Personal experience — I had a horribly stressful job, where I was expected to carry the workload of 3 people (but paid for 1). We weren’t trying, but we weren’t preventing either. For months (maybe a year) we went on like that and I never got pregnant. I finally found a new job, that had a million times less stress, and got pregnant after being there less than 1 month!

  • Angela
    Nov 05

    I was promoted to a stressful job earlier in the year that hindered our attempts. Once I settled down a bit and focused strongly on the ovulation days we got pregnant. Now I’m trying to remain chill so I can maintain the pregnancy.

  • RJ
    Nov 07

    Yes, finding a way to lesson or get rid of stress will help. My husband and I tried for 3 years doing IUIs and finally IVF and both didn’t work even with acupuncture and it cost us a lot of money (adding more stress). After all of that we decided to adopt and I personally decided to do a cleanse called the Whole 30. We got our son within a week (We were there when he was born) and within the first 3 months of having him, I got pregnant. Now I have a son and a daughter and life is amazing. Long story long...try to relax and lesson your stress. It will help for sure!

  • Lily
    Nov 09

    Stress is something that can make it harder. Start taking ovulation Test, tracking your period. I use Clue, it’s an app. And yeah, it’s hard, because it really is only like 24 hours.