Anonymous

kindergarten violence?

I need some advice from fellow parents. My daughter is in kindergarten. She got punched by another classmate in the face and end up with a very bloody nose. According to the teachers, there was quite a lot of blood spilled on her clothes and floor. We met with the principal but there doesn’t seem to be any clear preventive measures put in place to avoid future incidents. I was told there were past "incidents/issues" from the other child and there is already an aid placed inside the class well before this incident happened. The parents of the other child are not willing to even get in contact with us, for whatever reason. The school doesn't seem to be taking any preventive measures proactively. How should this kind of issue be handled by the school? What can we do as parents? We are concerned because this is not just a one-off event. It is not even a second/third event. I am worried there will be further incidents that could result in a worse situation in the future. Any advice?

  • Haley
    Jan 17

    Also, make sure you have proof of everything. Without the proof it becomes just a "he said, she said" to whatever authority you take it to. Proof is vital. Our son got poisoned with cookies (rat poison). We had hospital records and such. Kids can be some evil sadistic little things these days. It makes you truly wonder what's going on at home. Even after pressing charges, we ended up changing schools just for a fresh start for our son.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 17

    omg... that's so upsetting to hear such things could happen among kids nowadays... I hope your son got fully recovered and don't ever need to face such issue in future.

  • Rebecca
    Jan 17

    Go to the districts office. Talk with the school counselor or school social worker about social learning programs. There are tons out there for elementary school. I used to use second step curriculum with my students. It works. Talk to the district and principal about buying it and having the teacher or counselor use it. It is 20 minutes a lesson and no prep needed for the teacher.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 17

    The school’s hands are tied. They will not be able to take proactive measures. The program that Rebecca posted is great, but unless there is time for it, it’s not going to be implemented. Your only choice is taking legal action if this happens again. Once is a fluke, twice is an issue. Keep documentation such as photos of blood/bruises. You’ll have more of a leg to stand on. We have emotionally disturbed kids at my school, and short of having a full time aide, nothing else is being done. Legally, kids with anger issues still need to be in the least restrictive environment, as per federal education laws. The law is on the bully’s side in terms of being allowed to remain at school, especially if they have a diagnosis of oppositional defiance disorder or something similar. Kicking them out from school is a disability discrimination lawsuit in the making.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 17

    Does that mean "anger issues" is considered "special needs"? And that is protected by the federal education standards? Is this applicable to public schools only?

  • Anonymous
    Jan 18

    @ anonymous. Not necessarily, but many diagnoses cover kids that lash out physically. If for example the bully is on the spectrum, or has ODD or any other official diagnosis, the school’s fear of a discrimination suit will keep them from protecting your child. Don’t know if private schools are stricter on acceptable behavior.

  • Roz
    Jan 18

    You can press charges, my child was attacked, school did nothing, parents did nothing, police took it seriously because it was assault and battery, even tho they are "children" this day and age violence is violence, let your school know that you are serious. If nothing is done then the bully will think is ok

  • Jennie
    Jan 18

    Put your daughter in a self defense class!! I will be damned if anyone ever thinks my child is someone’s punching bag!!

  • Tom
    Jan 18

    All of the above. Practice scenarios with your daughter so she’ll be more prepared. Work with the school to resolve this. Even if it means moving your kid or the other. May also want to consult with an attorney for further advice

  • Vicki
    Jan 18

    Tom I like the suggestion to practice scenarios!

  • Beatrice
    Jan 18

    I work for the department of education if you want something done you need to contact the school district. You file a complaint against the teacher and principle since they aren’t doing their job. They are supposed to make sure our children to not get hurt and since your child got hit by another they are supposed to move the violent child out of the classroom into a different one or move your child to another classroom. You can tell the principle you want the other child removed from your child’s class since it is not the first time the other child has been violent. If they say they are not going to move the child ask to speak to the super attendant they are the higher ups and usually the principle would not want you to speak to them so they would rather move the child then get reported to the higher up

  • Anonymous
    Jan 18

    Forgive my innocence, what is Spectrum? Seems like this is a keyword that mean something. It comes up when I was in another discussion also and dont fully understand what that means. Any pointer for me to learn more what it is?

  • Rebecca
    Jan 18

    Autistic spectrum.

  • Ashton
    Jan 20

    Maybe put your daughter in self defense classes. I know that’s not a solution, but I used to teach martial arts to 4 and 5 year olds. Programs for that age group are geared toward situations like this. It would help her know what to do if she is threatened with violence and how to protect herself first peacefully and then more aggressively if the situation escalates. I’m in no way saying to teach violence as a response to violence, but knowledge is power and will give her confidence to handle situations as they happen rather than running to the teacher after she is bleeding.

  • Yo
    Jan 21

    I would try talking to the principal to have him/her talk to the other child parents. If no progress is made and you still dont feel comfortable, I would just look for another school. When my son was smaller he used to come home with very big words for gis little mouth that we did not use at home. When I found out the source was a girl in the class I addressed the matter with the principal and she eventually spoke with the other childs parents and the problem was solved.

  • Morgan
    Jan 24

    I would put your daughter in a self defense class and i would file a complaint against the school and the teacher and the principal and i would press charges