Posted in Child Care, Toddlers

Kisses at daycare

Is there a policy at daycares for not allowing kids to kiss each other? My daughter loves kissing her friends at daycare and the teacher tells her not to do it and she gets upset every time it happens. What would you do??

  • Sara
    May 16

    Just from a germ perspective, that sounds like a good policy. I have that same policy with my kids because my older one is always trying to kiss the baby and share her germs. I just say "we can blow kisses but let's keep our mouths to ourselves"

  • Anonymous
    May 16

    I wouldn’t want other kids to kiss my kiddo and vice versa; you don’t know wat someone else has and what it can trigger in your own kid. Especially, in this day and age..... talking about consent even hugs n kisses at appropriate age level is a good thing.

  • B
    May 17

    Agree. Germs wise it’s smart. But my kiddo hates being kissed by others and it’s a good time to start learning consent. You could teach her to high five or blow kisses

  • Anonymous
    May 17

    My first concern if my daughter was doing this would be that she’d catch something that could affect her for the rest of her life (like cold sores). I have never seen a cold sore on one of my daughters classmates but it would be a concern of mine. After getting past that I’d also be worried about body autonomy and consent. Our kids are still toddlers but it’s never too early to discuss consent in simple terms. And it goes both ways. If I want to kiss or hold my daughter and she doesn’t want to I never force her. She’s too young to ask permission or even really understand that concept but there’s just no reason to be upset with the teacher for telling your daughter not to kiss her friends. What if the roles were reversed? Would you want your daughter getting kissed by her classmates all the time?? So for the wwyd Question, i would start gently telling your child she can’t just kiss anyone she pleases. You have to be the one to set that boundary and expectation.

  • Nana
    May 17

    I taught my preschool kids kissing is for families. We can hug, high five, hold hands but we are only going to kiss our families.

  • Suzy
    May 18

    The schools in my area don’t allow the kids to hug, so kissing is definitely out. High fives are acceptable.

  • Elena
    May 19

    Yes no kissing rule is a good thing in many ways it's nice to have boundaries for germs and stranger danger it's nice to not be too open even with other kiddos you never know what could happen

  • Elle
    May 19

    Ditto everyone's comments. Definitely NOT okay. Where did she learn this from? If it was from home, suggest stop emulating it until she's old enough to understand the concept of consent. Start gently reaffirming now that it's,something she can do with you, but not at school.

  • Anonymous
    May 20

    Hi, second anonymous poster here. I just wanted to say one other thing, which is I think I know where you’re coming from. I’m a FTM to an only child and I sometimes have a hard time hearing anything “bad” about my daughter too. I feel like people (in this case, daycare teachers) are being too critical or maybe even judgmental and it upsets me. So in that way I do get it!! I’ve become a lot better at trying to stop and listen when her teachers tell me something. A few months ago, I went to pick her up and her teacher told me that she had been pulling hair all day long. As in her friends hair. My first thought was to blame the other child (maybe they did something to HER when the teacher wasn’t looking. But then I asked the teacher for more details and it turns out she was doing it only when another child was sitting in her favorite teachers lap. So we started working on the concept of “gentle hands,” and taking turns. Overall it hurts to hear any sort of criticism regarding out little ones, but I just try to remember that all of these people I allow into her life are (hopefully) here to advocate for her and help her develop and be a better person.