Posted in Breastfeeding, Mental Health, Postpartum Recovery

Lack of support/ Unwelcome criticism

A few days ago I decided I didn’t want to continue breastfeeding my son anymore...he’s 2 months old and I just feel like trying to keep up with feeding him has drained me physically and emotionally...I honestly probably would have stopped sooner if I didn’t feel such pressure to do it. Ultimately the decision came down to me dealing with PPD and realizing I need to start taking some kind of medication whether it be an antidepressant or something more natural. Either way I don’t want anything I decide to put in my body being passed onto my son and have been having major anxiety about the whole issue...and today I started therapy and broke down in tears over my guilt about not continuing to nurse him only to come home and hear comments from both my father and father in law about how I should still be breastfeeding and now I’m in tears again just feeling like a real piece of shit

  • Anonymous
    Feb 26

    My dad is old and has super old fashioned views... so everything that comes out of his mouth is pretty much unsupportive or demeaning because I’m a girl. Not sure if that’s the case with your own father and FIL. The world has really changed and it actually is harder being a parent today than it was back then. I know it’s hard to block out what family says but you just have to do that. And how can they talk anyway?? They never went through breastfeeding so they don’t know how hard it is. They don’t have hormones fluctuating and trying to return to normal levels after childbirth. So whenever they say crap, just ask them how they are such experts at this and whether milk had ever come out of their useless nipples. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Just remember that the only way you can be the best mother is if you are healthy yourself. Mental health is super important!!!

  • H
    Feb 27

    Carissa, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I have gone through this same feeling and decision making, it was tough with all three of my kiddos. But it was painful and didn’t come easily for us, so I ultimately decided to stop with all of them. With my first it was the toughest. I even had a la leche league support coach finally say in exasperation, “ok, if you don’t want to do what’s right for your baby.” In my fragile state I had felt defeated and angry and sad that I couldn’t meet this woman’s standard... and couldn’t meet my babies needs. But, that wasn’t true see, because my baby was great, his needs were met by being fed and we had a much more connected relationship after that because it wasn’t riddled with my pain and tears. And now 16 years later I can easily say so began the challenge and beauty of motherhood, and it gave way to the person I became as a mother, because I chose what was right for me and my sweet baby. And there is literally no force greater than a mothers love, but she can’t share that love if she can’t first love and take care of herself. So, with the gentle heart you share with your baby, please give yourself grace here and be just as gentle, just as loving with the way you see and talk to yourself. Fed is best. You know best. You’ll get through this! You’re doing great mama.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 27

    Tell your father and father-in-law you’re happy to let them take over breastfeeding. Your baby will be happy and amazing on formula or breastmilk. It’s really the first few months that give the largest benefits of that make suou feel better. Take care of you, so that you can be a happy mom

  • Christa
    Feb 27

    I told my husband- since he had no uterus he got no opinion on whether I continued to breast feed or not! Now I told him in a semi joking tone- but also until they can push a human out of their bodies- and he’s tried to convince me that passing a kidney stone is the same thing- then they can have an opinion on how we feed our babies! Breast feeding is mentally exhausting, and emotionally. And it freaking hurts let’s get real, a baby latching on to your boob when it’s raw and hurts, is not pleasant. Tell them both to go to hell. It’s not their choice. I’ve never been one to do good about others telling me what to do- especially when it comes to my children! You are doing good momma, hang in there, and do what’s right for YOU and your SON, NO ONE ELSE! Sending love and prayers to you, from your fellow momma bear! 💕

  • Anonymous
    Feb 28

    So sorry to hear this & that you experienced this coming from your family. Just be open & honest to them especially if it involves your health & welfare. Tell them a healthy & happy mom = a healthy & happy baby. I stopped breastfeeding earlier than I hoped I could & it wasn’t easy especially hearing what people say about it. But a lot of babies thrive w/ formula as well. I’m not a healthcare specialist but my baby, who’s 13 mos old now at worst had just a common cold even if some would scare me how his immune system will get affected, etc, because he wasn’t breastfeed.

  • Maru
    Feb 28

    I will tell u something really simple. “Happy mom happy home” Had the same issue with my first and second baby, and let me tell you something, my 2 year old grown strong and healthy having formula. Remember HAPPY MOM HAPPY HOME ❤️

  • Elle
    Mar 01

    Your HEALTH and HAPPINESS come FIRST. Anyone who doesn't understand that, tell them to screw off. Also, re thr FIL, how is this ANY of his business?

  • Christine
    Friday

    I’m so sorry you have to deal with this I only could last three months with both of mine. I was so done! There is a you in this picture not just baby. Baby is safe,full,and loved then that’s all that matters. (personal experience) I also with my second I have PPD and needed meditation. Which helped so much. Just stay connected with other people and please don’t feel guilty with not breastfeeding it’s definitely okay! Best Luck! ❤️