Posted in Blended Families, Teenagers, Pre-Teens
Anonymous

Long story but I’m going to shorten it as much as possible. I have one pre teen stepchild and a teen stepchild. The pre teen lives under our roof full time. Our teen step child brought drugs into our home, admitted to having it, using it, and also using with his bio mom. He has also been giving drugs to our pre teen and they mainly use in bio moms home. Pre teen did test positive on an at home drug test. Hubby and I have a 6 mo together and I am not having this at all. I called CPS, made police reports, and we delt with the pre teen in our home. I sent the teenager packing. However, Dad is not going to step up to the plate and make sure this doesn’t continue. He is going to allow our pre teen to go over to bio moms. I don’t want to leave, but I will not put up with this under our roof and our 6 mo be exposed to everything going on. What options do I have if he doesn’t proceed with taking care of things with the bio mom? Only thing I can think of is to pack us up and move on. I am “just a step mom”...

  • Anonymous
    Mar 14, 2018

    This is a tough situation but I think it needs to start with you and your husband on the same page. I’m sure you both can start with agreeing that you don’t want the kids doing drugs right?Then work your way from there on what rules/expectations you want to set. I know you must be furious/frustrated but talk to him from a loving place (still keep your stance of course) so that you can really try to get something accomplished here. Also what is the relationship like with the bio mom? And since you called CPS what was the outcome? Are they even allowed to go over there now?

  • Danny
    Mar 15, 2018

    Naranon!

  • Anonymous
    Mar 15, 2018

    Bio mom is hard to parent and get along with. Always has been. I separated myself from her completely after she said some crazy stuff when I was pregnant and we caught her on our security camera going through our mail. I’m pretty sure I will not know the outcome of the CPS investigation unless we get a call that the teen has been removed from the home. As for our pre teen we are trying to stop it now before it gets as bad as the teen. However, Dad is not going to stop pre teen from going over there. I don’t want to take their mom from them at all. I just want a major wake up call for her and them and supervised visits until she gets her crap together. Just makes me sad for these kids. They deserve better.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 15, 2018

    Can dad legally stop the pre teen from going over there or is there a court ordered schedule? Are you open to the pre teen seeing mom elsewhere - meeting somewhere in public, for instance? I don't know your whole story obviously, but I would be very careful if you are trying to cut mom out of pre teens life completely.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 15, 2018

    I don’t want her mom cut out completely. I just want her to step up and be an actual mom. Which I’m not holding my breath. Technically we could keep her from her mom, but to get supervised visits we would have to go down the court route for sure. I think that would be best at this point. Bio mom admitted to Dad today she is letting them use drugs under her roof. Her words “at least it’s under my roof and not out somewhere else”. I think I will just get welfare checks this weekend by the police. Grandparents said that might be the only option at this point to start a paper trail.

  • Teresa
    Mar 19, 2018

    I’m the step mom who’s feelings were always underrated and undervalued. You need to be your partners equal. Get out now anyway you can. Your opinion counts.