Posted in Family Life, Family Planning

Looking for a Mantra...


We have a 7 mo old baby. We both have fulltime demanding careers and fully enjoy every minute with baby. We enjoy parenting and doing all of the research on child development, showing her how to learn and grow. She's doing so so well, she's the happiest baby alive, and super interactive. We've gone lots of places with her. I know it will get harder later on when the real parenting (vs caretaking) is required, but from the beginning we have felt like we've got this down, like it's all very natural. We both are finding this experience all really intriguing and satisfying, and we're having a lot of fun. I previously had said that I wanted to space the first two out by several years (based on well-thought-out argumentation)... But now I find myself obsessed with the idea of another little one. Part of it is that the next one will be via surrogate, so the average length it takes from start to finish is about 18mo - 2yrs. We've done our research, understand the process, and have saved a good chunk of change, but we are by yet ready financially 'to pull the trigger.' I'm sure it is just some major oxytocin hit from enjoying my baby so much, but what are some ways that I can stop mentally obsessing about baby #2? I am focused on baby but just keep thinking, ' oh my gosh I can't wait for you to have a little brother to play with.' Looking for a mantra. Greatly appreciate any tips/thoughts (PS - the surrogacy method is a definite, so please keep that in mind while sharing suggestions). Thank you.

  • Lulu
    Nov 24, 2018

    I'm kinda in the same boat (not surrogacy but wanting another lol) and I just keep telling myself that it will be easier when my lo can communicate to me what she needs and can kinda help with the other one. Having two who can't communicate sounds like a very difficult thing. I don't know how mamas with twins do it.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 25, 2018

    Thank you. In our case, baby is super communicative. It's always been immediately clear what she wants/needs. Aggg I want another one :)

  • Anonymous
    Dec 11, 2018

    Interesting post. I don't have an answer, but I do know ppl who have been in similar situations. Bump!