Posted in Mental Health, Stay-at-Home Parents

Lost identity

Anonymous

So I’m a pretty young mom. 22 with a 2 year old and I’m a sahm while my husband works full time. And as much as I love my child and my husband I can’t help but think that I have lost who I was. I moved away from my home out of state to be with my husband and started a job. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant but I still worked full time with two jobs while my husband did work here and there and after I gave birth he looked after our child. And about 2 months after my child turned 1 my husband found full time work and I was forced to quit because even with our combined incomes daycare was still too expensive. But now a year later almost being so far from home with no real friends close by I can’t help but feel alone. I use to be in college and party and be so social but now I can’t and I just feel like I’ve lost myself. I enjoy motherhood but I feel like I’m stuck in a rut. Is this normal?

  • Salters
    Mar 20

    Have you thought about taking online classes at home towards a degree to keep you busy?

  • Anonymous
    Mar 20

    The slight problem with that is that I was in cosmetology school. As much as I would love to get a different degree and have wider range of jobs I have many visible tattoos on my hands and fingers and such.

  • Marisol
    Mar 20

    Get a journal and write down your biggest, greatest, and wildest dreams. Doesn’t matter how big or how small. Once you established that, take some time to think about what you can do right now to work towards that goal. I’m also a young mom, but I work and graduate with my bachelors in two months, but there are times were I feel lost and overwhelmed. I took some time to mediate on what what was going on and realized that I was so constantly so busy and caring for my son and others, that I had stopped taking care of myself. Essentially, I even stopped doing the things that made me happy. So I started journaling and making a list of things I could do to work towards my dreams. Also, I made a list of the activities that made me happy and how I could share those moments with my son. So just take some time to invest in self-care, because it’s important! It’ll benefit you and your family! Sending my best wishes!

  • Nicole
    Mar 20

    It IS normal but it isn’t ok! As in this is a universal experience but it shouldn’t be. Patriarchal society penalizes mothers. I feel your pain. Acutely. But have faith: COMMUNITY changes everything!! After a decade of my ex making all the big choices for us and moving me and the kids from place to place as he lived his life, I learned to court women. I started looking at making friends like dating sans sex. It’s the same thing! Like you, I was a young mom (3 kids by 25) and the circumstances of my marriage meant I didn’t have college friends around or a profesh community. It was just me and the kids doing our awesome exhausting thing for about 10 years. I was desperately lonely. What works for me: going to places my kids and I love and creeping on parents/kids I want to know and forcing myself to make the first move. I’ve made real. lasting. connections. this way. Sometimes it takes me a couple visits to a library group to work up the courage to approach a parent. Sometimes I just got for it. It’s not always a new bff but even one cool convo with a babe of a mom feeds my soul. You got this!💪

  • Mom
    Apr 17

    Find and join like minded moms groups