Posted in Adult Children, In-Laws, Single Parents

MIL doesn’t date, her son told her “not to”

My MIL is single/divorced (despite whatever weird relationship is going on with her ex-husband... I won’t go into details lol). During a tumultuous time in their life, my husband had to step up and become the adult early on in his life. He always said, “you don’t date or marry anyone, no one will treat you well” as a means of protecting/loving his single mom. They were very close for a while until I showed up/got married to him... and that’s a normal thing. I get why he said that. Despite it being “jokey”. But I think she took that seriously and has joked with me about how men ask if she’s single, and she says no. Now, I feel she doesn’t have a partner/spouse so I fear she will be lonely and/or obsess over my child. (The latter related to the former lol). Anyone experience this? Thoughts?

  • Anonymous
    Aug 31, 2019

    How long has she been single? Has she already been obsessing over your child? Is your husband the biological father? Asking all this because it based on what you said, it sounds like your MIL has been single for a while and I’m making the assumption that your husband is the biological father of your 1 year old (info provided next to your name). So wouldn’t you know if she would obsess over the child? And if those are all the cases... If she isn’t now, I wouldn’t worry about it. I think it’s also normal for grandparents to “obsess” over their grandkids. There’s a line that you can draw and it’s up to you to set those boundaries as I know some grandparents overstep. Is MIL still working? Does she have any extra curriculars? Those could help her keep busy and give you all your space if you need it. My MIL is still married and is obsessed with my son but she’s still working and plays golf... so it keeps her busy enough.

  • cocomac
    Sep 02, 2019

    Yes biological father and she has been single for a long time. She is hugely obsessive and lives for any and all attention. She works part time and has friends she sees so that’s good. I’m still wondering if she’s actually holding back dating due to what my husband said. Eventually her other son will move out.. and she could get lonely.. I guess it’s. A Lesson learned. If I was her. I would be like “forget you, I’m dating, son!” Haha