Posted in Family Life, In-Laws, Relationships

MIL issues. (Long rant, sorry!!!!)

Anonymous

My MIL has never ever liked me. From day 1 she had already made up her mind about me and has refused to get to know me or even try to be nice. She constantly puts me down and makes me feel useless because I am a SAHM. She feels as if I’m ‘not going anywhere in life’ and that I’m just ‘spending all her sons money’. Ever since our daughter was born she constantly has something to say about how I’m raising her, whether it be small things like “she should have a jacket it’s too cold out” to big things like “you have to breastfeed for at least 3 months, if you don’t your daughter won’t develop right”. She also has a problem with boundaries, Ill ask her not to do something when it comes to our daughter and she either ignores me or tries to tell me I don’t know anything. I ignore her rudeness for the most part but recently she has tried to come between my husband and I. She lives about an hour and a half away from us now as she moved last month. I told my husband he should go visit her the Saturday before mother’s day so she doesn’t feel left out and so she can see our daughter. I wasn’t able to go as my husband set up a very needed “mommy day” (getting my nails done, haircut, massage; truly a great husband lol). But she, of course, had something to say about it. She sent me a text saying ‘I don’t understand why you couldn’t come up to see me as well. I would have liked to see you since it is your first mother’s day, but instead you chose to spend more of my sons money on useless things.’ I was appalled!! I’ve never been anything but nice to her even when she says things like this. She also transferred money into my husbands account for gas since it was a long ride up. Later on he showed me a text where she said ‘I put gas money in your account. Take it out before it gets spent on useless s***’ I truly don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried being nice, ignoring her rude comments. But i’m at my wits end!! Any advice?? (P.S. She always seems to bring up my own mom in conversations as well, saying we spend too much time with her and do more things with her. My mom only lives 10 minutes away so it makes sense that we would see her more often. However my MIL made the choice to move an hour and a half away.)

  • Anonymous
    May 20

    Girl. My mother is Law is the SAME WAY. She tries to tell me to "put socks on him" or "well you need to just let him do this or that " and my son is 10mo old and she CONSTANTLY tries bully me into letting him spend the night at her house, without me. When we are out somewhere she will take my son from me and will refuse to give him back. I loose my shit. I try to tell her something about it but it never works. I wish I could give advice but I'm in the same situation. Just stay strong and know you are not alone. Set boundaries and stick to them!!

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    Excuse my language, but holy shit. She needs to be put in her place. Immediately. And your husband needs to be the one to do it, but if he won’t then it’s you who will have to. I’d first cease all visits. All of them. Especially when you’re not around, she’s going to talk poorly about you in front of your baby. That’s NOT okay. I’d second pull her access to your bank accounts. Mommy dearest much?! She should not have that level of control to know how much money is in your accounts and how much you or your husband spends. Finally, every time she says something about you spending your husbands money, I’d say, “you mean our money, right? Why do you feel it’s okay to comment on our financial arrangements?” Finally, from now on, reply to all of her texts bashing you with, “ok.” That’s it. Just acknowledge that she said something so she knows you read it but do not reply back in detail or try to defend yourself. She’s trying to drag you into her negative puddle of crap and it’s not right. I’d also tell her the next time she wants to visit or see you and your child that you’ll make the time when she takes the time to learn self control and to stop talking to and about you negatively.