MIL watching baby, how to handle an awkward request for her to leave at end of day

When we first set up this plan to have both grandmothers watching my baby, I told my husband not to over commit because it will he awkward to scale back on commitments... And here we are, wanting to scale back our WEEKLY family dinners on Thursdays with his bro/his mom who watches my baby that day, to bi-weekly. I know if we wait till bro gets a job, that can be the reason to scale back to bi-weekly as blame it on “he’s busy now”. Unless my MIL doesn’t get the hint and thinks she will stay for dinner still every week, how would you tell her that she can leave and we no longer want to do dinner with her every week, but 2x a month only? Her days off are Thursday and Friday and she watches baby on Friday as well but we never agreed to Friday dinner so no issues there.

  • Jess
    Apr 03

    Start a new routine for every other Thursday after work w a friend or something. Blame it on the friend’s schedule; Thursday’s being the only day that you’re both free. Then at least maybe you can pick up a new hobby or something. You don’t have to do it forever just until ‘staying for dinner’ stops being a weekly thing. Or a new date night?? Keep us posted, I really want to know what you go with

  • B
    Apr 04

    I don’t know. Once a week dinners if she’s watching the baby for two days doesn’t seem unreasonable to me. It’s one night.

  • cocomac
    Apr 04

    @B it is pretty draining to host her and my brother in law and his gf every week. And besides that, we do pay her.

  • Vicki
    Apr 04

    Sign up for something that you have to commit to that day. Something at the library, swimming lessons, music time, play time. Or just be honest and say that you like spending time with them but it’s a lot of work and you only want to do it every other week. If you are nice about it, there’s no reason she should be mad, upset or hurt by it.

  • Laura
    Apr 04

    If you come up with plans that conflict with every other Thursday, be prepared for her to suggest you move those dinners to Friday.

  • Laura
    Apr 04

    Another legitimate reason other than it being a lot of work is that baby's bedtime will creep up as they get older (be earlier at night) as they take fewer naps. Our daughter has been going to bed at 7:30 since she was like 6 months maybe so I couldn't possibly do a weeknight dinner party (we get home around 6, eat quickly, and then start getting ready for bed)

  • Michaela
    Apr 04

    You could be honest about the reason. Probably the hardest option but she might take it better than you expect her to

  • B
    Apr 05

    You also could stop thinking of these as dinner parties. Talk to them and say it’s too much. Hey brother, your week to bring the food. Hey grandma, I’m starting the crockpot you watch it.