Posted in In-Laws

Mother in Law being unforgiving

Pj

My mother-in-law has pretty much ruined our small family Mother’s Day which I had planned. Early last week we had an argument where I was tired of having to let her know about our baby that she looks after and me and my wife’s wishes for certain treatment and care. She completely. Disregards anything I have to say and brushes it off as she knows better. I just roll with it and try not make a big deal but this past week it got the better of me and now we are not talking or rather she is not willing to talk to me. Mother’s Day was this weekend and I had hoped to take my mother-in-law my wife and my 13 month old daughter out for a special day at the zoo and picnic ending with some pics. My mother-in-law told my wife that she would not be coming with us today because of me. To me this sounds like her willingness to do anything as a family relies on her being happy. It’s so frustrating and what really hurts the most is that I feel my wife really sides with her mother even though she says she doesn’t. So now I’m at home, my wife left to go pick up our baby from my mother-in-law’s house. I called my wife as she was on the way and said just go ahead and spend time with your mom because it wasn’t supposed to be like this it was supposed to be all of us as a family and if I am the cause of her unhappiness or not willing to spend time with all of us today then I accept that and you spend some time with her at least and maybe if I’m lucky my wife or my daughter will want to do something with me in a few hours. We’ll see... I guess part of my question is about how to deal with a mother-in-law that refuses to communicate and to put aside personal feelings for the greater good? So now basically my whole day is ruined. Last year’s Mother’s Day wasn’t the best either because me and my wife just had the baby and we were both suffering from post partum depression. So I had planned to make it up this year but looks like I’m the bad Husband and son in law. Signed Signed The Sad Dad

  • Anonymous
    May 13

    I totally sympathize with you. Mother in-laws can be tough! I would not budge on your wishes for your daughter even if your mother in-law watches her (assuming you and your wife are in agreement). That’s really great that you child gets grandma time... but does not give her power over you (the parent). You and your wife need to be on the same team and back one another up. Your wife is in a tough spot between you and her mother... but you two need to find common ground about the care and treatment of your daughter. Also, it’s easier said than done... but try to not let someone else determine your mood and what kind of day you’re going to have. If your mother in-law wants to miss out on an event because of a disagreement with u... well then that’s her choice. (I hate when ppl cant put aside their differences for the sake of others around.) Good luck!