Posted in In-Laws, Potty Training, Toddlers

Mother is really pushy about Potty Training

Hey parents! My twin girls are 15 months old and my mother is REALLY pushing for potty training but I still think they’re too young. They aren’t really interested in the bathroom beyond following me inside and getting under the cupboards. We introduced them to a my sized potty and they pretty much just use it as a stool to stand on. My mom INSISTS that if they aren’t potty trained by the time they’re two then they’ll be behind developmentally and won’t get into preschool on time but I also know that forcing them to do something they aren’t ready for could put a kink in them learning it later. What do you all think? Any advice? When did your kid take to the potty training experience?

  • Dani
    Mar 11

    My son is almost 3.5 and he just started peeing on the potty and only when we make him, he still doesn’t ever tell us.

  • Ivy
    Mar 11

    My first potty trained 3 months before he turned 3. My second potty trained a couple months after his 2nd birthday. My second is pretty nonverbal and won’t really tell us with words that he needs to potty, but he will go by himself or come to us and point to his groin. I know it’s possible to potty train before 2, and for many people, the “oh crap” potty method works on those younger toddlers. But it’s honestly up to you when you want to do it. You’re the one doing the training. By all means, if your mom is being so pushy, tell her to come over and do it!

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Mar 11

    So I have three kids, two of which I had fully Day time trained before they turned two. That being said, I didn’t start training my first until he was 20 months, and my second until 18 months.

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Mar 11

    Oops hit post too soon. I don’t think being potty trained after two is a problem at all, this execution just worked well for my family dynamic and finances. My third is now 15 months and follows her siblings into the bathroom and tries to pull her pants down, so she’s prob ready but I’ll still wait until 17 or 18 months until she’s comprehending more and physically capable of a little more.

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Mar 11

    A lot of the arguments that early potty training does harm have been debunked. That said, I think your child needs to be able to comprehend what you are saying and you do NOT punish them for making a mistake. I truly believe this decision is a combination of the parent readiness and the childs readiness. I would argue my first two weren’t completely ready, but they were a bit curious and understood what I was saying - AND- most importantly I was willing to be patient and did not handle mistakes as an act of defiance. It’s truly up to you and honestly when I brought my kids in to their two year appointments completely day trained my provider was surprised both times so I do not think it is the norm nor expected by preschools or daycares for that age group.

  • Sean
    Mar 11

    Our son who is almost 3 decided on his own that it was time himself. He witnessed friends go through it. We read storybooks about potty training. And he watched us... yes it was weird but I think he learned.

  • Julie
    Mar 11

    I feel like people need to stop telling us how to parent our kids. Your mom sounds a lot like my MIL and I am only half kidding when I read this and thought to myself, “omg is my SIL on Winnie!?” Lol. My SIL doesn’t have twin girls tho so I don’t think so!! 😂 Anyway, my daughter is in daycare and while they don’t let children enter preschool at her Center until they’re potty trained, they don’t ever expect 2 year olds to be potty trained there!!!! Preschool at her center starts at age 3 AND when the child is potty trained. Also, my daughter is 18 months and is only just starting to show signs of being interested in the potty. If I were you I’d follow your intuition and potty train them when you know they’re ready!!

  • Anonymous
    Mar 11

    Even if you don't use the "Oh Crap Potty Training" method I would read the book, or look up the blog. Potty training is hard, and you have 2 kids to donate once, it's not really something you can rush, or expect to happen on you or your mother in law's time line. Good Luck!

  • K
    Mar 11

    I have twin girls (16 mths) and although they have hit all of their milestones waaayyy ahead of their big brother, I don’t think they are near ready for potty training. From my experience, starting to train early is possible, my son started to pee right before 2, but it wasn’t consistent, and he had a LOT of regressions for various reasons. It was crazy stressful for all. I think it would have been a much easier and enjoyable (strange adjective, but it is a huge milestone that should be a celebration) if I had waited until he was more mature. I do think my girls will train more quickly, but I’m not rushing it. When you make the decision that is right for you and your girls, talk to your mom, just be straight forward. 💩

  • Angie
    Mar 12

    Lol! Your mom is wrong....less intelligent if not trained by two!?!?!?🤣🤣not so!!!! My child is extremely smart and just got potty trained last month at the age of 3. I tried when she was 2.5 but she wasn’t ready and regressed big time & screamed when asked/told to sit on potty. Tried again at 3 & she was ready! Btw: night pull ups are used but it’s usually dry cuz shes pees before bed & right upon awakening.

  • Laysia
    Mar 12

    I’m a toddler teacher and a part of my job is potty training and we don’t start until their at least two. I started my son at 2 and he’s doing great. At the same time I know people who started younger. Your their mother you do it when you think their ready. Shoot one maybe ready before the other even.

  • A
    Mar 13

    I think 15mths is really young! I didn’t even start worrying about it until my kids were 2. And with my twins - I felt like it was one of those things that when they were ready they were ready. And that was even different times for each of them. My daughter trained really easily right around 2 my son not until he was almost 3. Pushing them seemed to do nothing but make a lot of pee/poo clean up for me. I’d say wait until they are ready and make it easier on everyone. I MUCH rather change diapers than messes off the floor. Also, I disagree that it has anything with them being developmentally behind. My kids are right in track developmentally. And honestly no kid goes to kindergarten in a diaper - 😂😂 So don’t stress ;)

  • molly
    Mar 14

    @MamaNukesYopolo it would be great to know more about the studies that debunk harm of early potty training. They are still teaching it in med school to pediatricians ( Nelsons- the tome on Pediatrics still mentions it) so I would love to have a source/citation for this debunking. Thanks!

  • Laura
    Mar 17

    I would stay away from pushing them. I tried to introduce my girl at 18 months and it was not good. Tried again at 24 months and she got frustrated but as soon as she turned 30 months, it clicked! Much smoother.

  • Lynn
    Mar 23

    Honestly, your mom doesn’t know what she’s talking about and I’d let her know that it’s your decision. Not hers. And I’d not let her potty train your kids because it seems she’ll not respect them as individuals. 2 is early and before 2 is really early. It doesn’t mean it can’t be done, but it’s much more difficult and I don’t understand the push for kids to be potty trained before they are ready. My first potty trained herself at 23 months and my second at 18 months. However, both of them had a lot of regressions. They’d go months without an accident, then weeks where it seemed all the time they were peeing in their pants. My first hasn’t really had many regressions since she was just before 3 years old, but it still happens when she’s having a developmental leap. My second is almost 2.5 years old and while she never has poop accidents, at home, she pees her pants all the time. Not in public though. I did not plan to train them. They decided on their own. I facilitate. A lot of my friends used the oh crap potty method at 2 years old and nearly everyone has the same experience. A couple of friends waited until 3+ and neither of their kids had any issues. It all depends on the kid. Wait until they are ready or at minimum verbal. If they aren’t by the time they need to go to preschool, then do it.