Mother provides child care
My mom has been watching my child since about 3 months old, now going on 2. It's really becoming a strain on our relationship. She doesn't work and is on SSI so I offered to pay her to watch my daughter as opposed to sending her to daycare. We could probably afford daycare, but I'm uncomfortable with the idea. I thought it was a win - win for both of us. I'd help her out with a little extra money and she could spend time with her grandchild but now she's treating it like it's her job and I'm her employer. Since the beginning we've had issues with her not being able to come in due to all sorts of reasons, weather, dr appointments, sick, too tired. Of course we expect anyone to need a reasonable amount of time to themselves or days off for usual reasons but it's really getting out of control. It's 5 or more times a month that my husband or I either have to use our vacation time or scramble to find someone to watch our child because she's texted us last minute that she cannot watch our daughter. Lately she's begun to complain to others in my family that we don't pay her enough and that the days are too long or she's too tired. It's really hurtful to me. Meanwhile, i'm constantly giving her extra money for things because "she's not going to make it this month". I feel like she's taking advantage of the situation because she knows at this point I don't have any other care options. When I ask her if she thinks it's becoming too much for her she says no, she needs the extra money. I wouldn't have such a problem paying her more but I know she is lending money to others and I just can't depend on her to show up consistently. My husband is at his wits end and we keeps saying it's only for a short while but I'm starting to resent her. I'm not really sure what if anything I can do at this point. I feel like I'm damned if i do damned if i don't. If I find daycare she'll be mad because she needs the money, if I don't it will probably destroy our relationship. Thoughts or advice?