Posted in Behavior, Sleep, Toddlers

My 2 year old hates me

Anonymous

I have been home with my 2 year old since she was born, I breastfed her the first 23 months and everything was pretty normal. We had a bed time routine and then she would breastfeed to sleep. The whole process would take 30 minutes tops. Now, it’s so stressful to get her down for the night. She has these outrageous tantrums every.single.night. I’ll just turn off the lights and she’ll begin screaming and thrashing around in bed. My husband started screaming at me last night asking what I was doing to her. We got into a huge argument, and tonight I told him he had to put her to sleep. She didn’t fight him, or cried. She just laid down and went to sleep. I feel like such a failure. :(

  • Tiffany
    Apr 15

    Sometimes our kids know who to act up with. Not sometimes. All the time. I didn’t believe it until I saw it with my own eyes with my own. Maybe she just wants her dad to do it at night and doesn’t know how to express that to you? Try just giving her a hug and a kiss and letting him do the process and see how it goes.

  • Tiffany
    Apr 15

    You’re not a failure. Never feel that way.

  • Patricia
    Apr 16

    Going through the same thing girl... I gave up a while ago lol she wants her daddy.. shoot by all means. That means I can finally get some sleep. Lmao

  • Anonymous
    Apr 16

    Thank you for your words of encouragement Tiffany.

  • Anonymous
    Apr 16

    Patricia I’m glad to know I’m not the only one going through this, and I don’t mind her wanting her dad I know she misses him; what really bums me out is her screaming bloody murder. You’d think Something terrible was going on in the bedroom, and really it will be something like turning off the lights or putting on her pjs that will set her off. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I hope it’s just a phase

  • Anonymous
    Apr 16

    When things have calmed down between your husband and you, id address his anger and the argument. It’s not acceptable to lash out at you, and leave you feeling like you failed. There will be many more stressful moments, and you need to be on a solid front- for your sake as well as your daughter’s. Of course you’re not a failure. Being a full-time parent for two whole years and BFing for 23 months... I feel intimidated at your achievement! Well done mom. And enjoy the break!!!

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Apr 16

    You are definitely not a failure. Her whole Acting out could be her way of saying she wants some Father Time because she is with you all day, but because she is so young she cannot figure out words when she is tired and emotional. You sound like you are doing a great job and giving her a wonderful childhood. Hang in there.

  • Diane
    Apr 16

    Totally not a failure! Could she be having tantrums with you bc she had been used to you breastfeeding her to sleep for so long? Maybe she doesnt know how to settle down and go to sleep with you without bfeeding. I feel I may have this same problem when I stop bfeeding my 19mo old to sleep.

  • Anonymous
    Apr 17

    Thank you everyone! Diane I was also thinking that. We’ve never had an issue until I stopped breastfeeding. Hopefully you will not have this issue.

  • Tj
    Apr 17

    I had a similar challenge. My son is now 26 months and I still struggle to put him down for bed or for naps. He goes down in minutes with his dad. But I don’t look at it like he’s a daddy’s boy. Actually I feel it’s more like he doesn’t want to sleep to prolong spending time with me. Sleep means the end of “us” time. His dad is boring so he just accepts it and goes to bed. Lol. So perhaps your cup is half full and you’re just too loved to miss out on.

  • Jenn
    Apr 18

    Sounds like you stopped breastfeeding very recently. I'm guessing it's related to that. If you suspect that's the case, don't underestimate the power of a simple explanation (Mommy's milk is all gone, we don't do that anymore). I'd change up the bedtime routine too. If you're doing the same routine just without the bf, it's glaringly obvious to her that something is missing. Flip around the order of things, add stuff in, do whatever you need. Maybe take her to the store to pick out a special stuffed animal or blanket she can sleep with (and go back to but extras if/when she gets attached). Try to give her more opportunities to make choices also, like choosing her clothes, food, etc. (give 2 or 3 options). It'll help her feel more in control.