Posted in Potty Training, Toddlers

My 3 yr girl is just not getting trained even after trying for a year

Ive been potty traing her since 2 yrs of age. She wasnt always telling us but there were signs. I took the diapers off completely. She does great at night. Wakes up all dry.Daytime has always been challenging. I ask her if she wants to go and she just says no.But then goes in pull-up unless i take her to potty in time.her pullups are always wet in daytime.she was telling me when needed to go poop.but this morning she just went in her pullup. When she was 2 we went on a road trip and she got peteified of the public bathrooms. Im now trying to help her overcome that fear as well as help her go pee and poop in the potty all the time. Im not sure what else to do besides not giving up. Should I take off pull ups again? But we travel to my inlaws 2 hrs away some weekends and shes not ready for public bathrooms. I havnt had any good advice from any other woman. Please someone tell me how to go about doing this. I need to get her ready for pre K.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 05

    I think you need a different perspective. She has spent the majority of her life going Ina diaper. Its comforting, it's familiar, it's EASY. If you ASK her if she WANTS to go to the bathroom she is going to to say no, because why would she want to get up, walk away from her toys, take her clothes off and sit on a cold toilet, when she can go in her pants? She has proven she knows what she is doing by doing it in the past, and NOW she is manipulating you. 3 yo's are masters at it. If she was eating dinner and said she didn't feel like eating something you gave her, but that she was still hungry would you say "oh no problem, you can have cookies instead"? You need to set boundaries. Tell her the diapers are all gone, you ran out of money for them, she need to go in the potty, then set a timer and when that timer goes off tell her she needs to go, don't ASK. If she needs help at first, fine, but she need to be able to do it on her own if she goes to preschool so you need to teach her that too. And for long trips you can put a trash bag or puppy pee pad down, and bring a portable potty she can use on the side of the road. Or try taking her to bathrooms around town that you know are nice and clean to build up her confidence.

  • JEaton
    Feb 05

    Have you tried reading "Oh crap! Potty training" by Jamie Glowacki? She promotes ditching pull ups entirely as they are essentially no different than a diaper, so going naked for a few days then commando for a few weeks before starting underwear. Also, you have to take charge of telling your child they're going potty and taking them straight there, not asking the child if they have to go. Good luck!

  • Erum
    Feb 05

    JEaton. Yes I've tried that for 5 months and she regressed. I can't sit home and just potty train for years as my husband thinks. So I need a solution where I can encourage her to tell me. I know she can because before bed she knows exactly when to go and says "gotta go potty." I really appreciate that you responded. Thank you.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 05

    Pull-ups are technically diapers so she’s still in diapers.... I don’t blame her for going in a diaper since that’s what she’s been doing for 3 years. Try putting undies on. Being wet with pee and warm poop should help her connect the dots. Also- don’t ASK if she needs to go TELL her it’s time to go. Use it as a transition, “oh you’d like to play legos? Ok mom will get the legos as soon as you’re done going potty”

  • Anonymous
    Feb 05

    Potty training doesn’t take 5 months when you’re consistent. My son was trained in 4 days. Take away the pull ups entirely. Have her go potty in a travel potty and away from public restrooms on road trips. Have her experience being wet. Have her clean up after herself when she pees herself. Have her pick out nice undies that she wants to keep dry.

  • Katie
    Feb 06

    In my experience a pull up feels too much like a diaper. We got training underwear (basically toddler underwear that has a tiny bit of padding in it) and it helped a ton because they could feel the wet. Also on the weekends or whenever we were home for extended periods of time I left her naked. We also did the sticker chart every time they went and mini m&ms for poop. The final reward was signing up for dance class. She couldn’t go until she was potty trained and she really wanted to.

  • Casper
    Feb 06

    Haven’t tried this. But will be doing it soon. Haven’t a Pee Party. She gets to eat all the salty foods and drink as much juice as possible. Make her pee a lot and get her to pee on the toilet over reward it. And boom. I been told in three days they are good. The next two you have to continue the excitement and rewards. (:

  • Anonymous
    Feb 06

    I bring her potty in the van wherever we go. 10minute drive to an hour drive. I still put her in pull ups whenever we leave the house. Sometimes it’s wet but mostly it’s dry and before we drive to places I let her pee. I read somewhere, one of the moms posted that try to expose them to the public bathrooms, show them what you’re doing. I’ve been trying to do it, she’s being observant whenever I go pee in the public restrooms. I also bought her a folding potty seat for public restrooms but haven’t tried it yet. Don’t wanna stressed her out. I tried doing potty when she turned 2 last August she didn’t like it at all. Did it again last month and she’s been doing great. I still put diapers at night time.

  • A
    Feb 11

    I agree with everyone, ditch the pull ups. I bet it will only take an accident or two to figure out cold wet clothes aren’t fun. Lol

  • Erum
    Feb 14

    Thank you everyone for the advice. Taking away pullups isn't an issue. Lately she's just scared of the potty seat and doesn't want to go on it. Not even in the house. It's more about getting over her fear of the toilet seat. I don't know how to help her with that. Ive bought and tried pottetts and travel seats and she knows exactly when she needs to go she has even figured out if she drinks shell have to go pee ☺️

  • Anonymous
    Monday

    Thank you for the good advices