My 5 y/o keeps asking me for play dates with his classmates.

I’ve never approached parents before on this topic. I run anxiety thinking I’m bothering parents if I ever suggest this. The problem with this thought process is that I’ve become socially awkward. To overcome this, what are some opening lines you have used to suggest a play date? To a parent you haven’t really talked to but your kids play with their kids at school and are bffs. Thanks! Hugs!

  • PK
    Aug 08, 2019

    Hi! My name is _____, I’m _______’s Mom. He’s been telling me all about how much fun he has with (other child’s name) in school. We have plans to go to (play place name - public especially if you don’t know the other parents) this weekend. Would you all like to get together for a play date? You can suggest a public place that you’re comfortable with... in my experience, suggesting an actual place rather than just suggesting getting together solidifies things and takes it one more step further for it to actually happen rather than it be floating around as an idea.

  • B
    Aug 08, 2019

    There’s a great podcast episode on this. Care and Feeding from Slate.

  • Kristen
    Aug 08, 2019

    I ask every parent to go on a playdate, and almost no obe has declined, some people just are busy or forgetful. Don't feel bad asking, it's a lot of work always being the inviter!

  • Nicollette
    Aug 08, 2019

    I feel the same way! The anxiety of entertaining the other parent or parents while the little ones are playing is constant. My 4 year old is not shy about asking other kids to come to our house but I always just laugh it off

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 09, 2019

    I start by saying something like, “my daughter was asking if they could get together with your child sometime. If you’re willing, do you want to trade numbers? That way, if we’re at the park or something sometime we can try to coordinate a play date.” But I have to say, I rarely actually chat it up with the parents. I’m pretty hands on, and not here to make friends with other parents, but instead to let my child be friends with who they want. If it’s a very good friend of my daughters, then I get to know the parents better. But she’s only 2 and I don’t think she’s really formed lasting friendships just yet.

  • Jennifer
    Aug 09, 2019

    You know, it really comes down to one of the moms making the initiative. My daughter has been to her daycare since 2yr old. But during May before she turned 5yr old, the school decided to move their location. Usually when I pick up my kids, I see the other parents and just briefly say hi to them but I know all my daughter's friends, as I'm the type of mom that likes to get to know them. So I was so bummed out when the school was closing and started asking all the moms for their contacts, asking the older toddlers where they will be going to kindergarten since my daughter was going this year. I first was in touch with 2 moms and set a playdate. Then the 2 moms say they have the other moms contacts and invited them to the play date. And now, we have a total of 6 moms, that we are now best friends because of our little ones that have been best friends from daycare for 3yrs. Even the little ones have their little siblings to join our group. All in all, I'd say it is not a bother to approach the parents. Believe me, a lot of moms would love to make new mom friends but tend to be shy. I've now toughen up my courage to approach parents saying, my daughter has been talking about having a play date with your kid, would you love to hang up some time to maybe to go a park or something? Then I exchange numbers or add them to my wechat.