Anonymous

My 6 yr old is sensitive

Our son is 6 and is young for his age. He’s always met all milestones at his own pace and he started having a speech therapist at 3 when he was assessed as having a developmental delay. He’s come leaps and bounds. However, he’s always been a sweet, sensitive boy that tends to cry easily. For example, he’ll cry when a toy breaks, or when he’s playing with kids and something happens that he thinks is unfair, or he gets easily frustrated about a certain situation. My husbands approach is to try to intensely coach him in those situations to see that he shouldn’t have cried in the first place bc there were other ways of solving the situation. He’s very calm and nurturing but it comes across to me like he’s asking a lot of reasoning and rational thinking from our 6 yr old when he’s in a really emotional state. He feels strongly about trying to break this habit of crying easily bc he’s really concerned of our son being labeled a cry baby and being bullied by other kids. I tend to think that while I agree it’s a habit he should break, I see it as something he’ll eventually grow out of. So my tendency is to just try to distract him and take a break when he’s crying to de-escalate the situation and come around to talking about it later after his emotions have died down. I’m wondering if anyone else out there has been in a similar situation. What has helped? Was this something that tends to resolve on its own?

  • Jessica
    Jul 12

    I'm struggling with this too. My son is very sensitive, dramatic, and easily frustrated. I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, but wanted to let you know you're not alone.

  • Krysteena
    Jul 12

    My 11 year old is still like this. I wish I knew what we could do to boost their self-confidence!

  • Vicki
    Jul 12

    Try role playing so he can see appropriate responses before issues come up. Do it as a game and don’t put pressure on him to do it “right”. Talk out different scenarios and how they make him feel.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 12

    I think it's good that you have him take a break. Maybe if he's in school or something you can teach him to go to the bathroom so he can have some privacy. If it's a confidence thing, what about putting him in karate or Tae Kwan do or something, where he can advance though the belt colors and gain confidence. I think they also focus on how to react to things too.

  • AdamAnt
    Jul 13

    All people - kids & adults - are allowed to feel their feelings. Some of us are more sensitive than others. Give him some time, space, and empathy when he’s feeling upset.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 13

    Unfortunately I have zero advice for you but to let you know that I find myself in the same situation with my almost 12 year old. Since he was a toddler, he would cry for everything. Very sensitive. Now almost 12 & everyone that told me he would grow out of it was so wrong🤦‍♀️ He’s still very sensitive, wears his emotions on his sleeve. The only thing that I’m happy about is that he is able to put up a front at school. He will not cry or make a scene if someone hurts his feelings or if he’s upset. He has a lot of friends, teachers say he’s very serious, well mannered student. But at home, oh man lol. I just ignore him when he starts crying . It’s too much, I can’t.

  • Randy
    Jul 17

    No need to worry because the problem go away eventually. Try to calm your kid down when he or she in an emotional situation. Find something your kid likes to do or eat with tender care.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 18

    My 2 year old is starting to really feel his feelings and have opinions about many of the things he doesn’t want to do. He cries often, and usually out of frustration at his perception of a situation. And, just as I would hate it if someone said to me, “Well don’t cry about it, you were wrong about your feelings,” he REALLY doesn’t like it if someone tries to get him to stop crying. Or tells him to stop. It’s like he’s now upset that he’s upset and is letting us down. So we read up on what are better methods and have been going with the approach that has been working well. We acknowledge his frustrations, his feelings, tell him that it’s okay to be upset, ask him to tell us what is wrong (even if we know and even though he has limited language skills as a 2 yo) and hug him if he’s ok with that, or make sure we are at least physically close to him on his level. It takes extra time and sometimes we are late to things but he responds really well to that. And we get through the event much quicker as a whole without residual issues. I feel that the worst thing to do in this situation is to shame him for crying. Especially boys because historically that has been the response for a lot of parents. Feelings of shame carry over into so many other places and have negative effects on kids. Even if I think he shouldn’t have cried in the first place, telling him that he was wrong for it might make him blame himself for his own feelings. If it was me, even as an adult, I wouldn’t want someone telling me I shouldn’t have cried in the first place. Emotions aren’t logical. (I will also say we respond differently when he is fake crying - that we do not give any attention to aside from reminding him of what is needed to be done, cleanup toys, get dressed etc.. during the lull in his fake cry - which never have tears and always sounds very different from his actual cry).