Posted in Grade Schoolers, Siblings

My 9 year old is constantly asking and asking to go with his older (13 year old) brother EVERY WHERE!!! And I try to tell him that he is going out of your neighborhood Boundaries or it’s too late for you to go with him. Her just doesn’t get that his brother just doesn’t wanna play with him right now and I try to get him too ask his other friends to play and he all ways says that he just wants to play with his brother and then some days where he does go with his brother he thinks he can go all of the time and that his brother and all of his friends are bffs what do I do?!?!?

  • Elisheva
    Apr 21, 2018

    Ask ur 13 year old son how he feels about his younger 9 year old brother looking up to him like that and looking for his attention and attaching to his friends, then depending on how ur older son feels you can try having a sit down with all three of them and asking the youngest to go first and say what he likes best about hanging out with his older brother then have his older brother speak about what he likes best about his younger brother tagging along and then you can say how happy u are about them bonding and then his older brother can speak out about how sometimes he might want his own time and then the younger brother can talk about how that makes him feel an why he doesn’t want to be left out and then you can express how you might be feeling left out about spending time with ur younger son like one on one so that maybe ur younger son won’t feel like it’s a age rule/boundaries that’s holding him back from his older brother but maybe that he has to learn to divide his time with other people who aka you who feel left out (even if ur not feeling left out it might be a good tip to help his older brother has some alone time along with letting ur younger son discover fun times without his older brother either with new friends he makes with u or new fun he finds with u or on his own) then u can also mention in the group or when his older brother comes home how he should express how his day was an share it with his younger brother an then ask his younger brother how his day was an to encourage him to share about his excitement an about his hopes and you should also engage with both off them how they felt with the time apart and what they did etc,

  • Melissa
    Apr 21, 2018

    Just say when he gets older he can play with older kids he has to play with kids his own age for now. Just put ur foot down. He will pout but eventually get over it. Sounds like u doing it right.

  • Ava
    Apr 22, 2018

    Wow thank you !