Posted in Stay-at-Home Moms

My husband recently got a very good job offer that is impossible to pass up..we have a 7 month old and I’m 3 months pregnant. Currently, both sets of our parents live with in 15 minutes so we get a lot of help, this new job is out of state. I also work full time as a nurse..with his new job I would not have to work and get to stay home with my babes, which I’m thrilled about. My question is, how do you stay at home moms like it? I’ve heard many positives and negatives to both ends. I love being a nurse and I’m afraid I will miss it. I hear many people talk about losing their identity, which i can definitely understand. But I also don’t want to miss this part of their lives, it goes so fast. Thanks!!

  • Katie
    Feb 20, 2018

    I’m a sham and I miss working so much. I have a similar situation I just recently moved here from California and had a baby and started just staying home with my little one it’s SO lonely and difficult to meet people when you stay at home and we have no family around here either..I would definitely recommend working at a new hospital wherever you move and meet people first before you think about staying home and just doing things with your little one it can get depressing at least for me it has been!

  • Kristina
    Feb 21, 2018

    I’m a SAHM, I’ve got a 20 month old and a 9 month old. At first the transition was hard for me, I loved working, the satisfaction of helping others and let’s be honest, earning money. You will be lonely at times and absolutely crave adult interaction but the great thing is you can get out and about and do things in your new neighborhood/city. The libraries are great places to meet other moms and for you to get a little socialization. Invest in a good double stroller (I got the Contours Options Elite and really like it) going for walks is a lifesaver for me! I get a little fresh air and exercise and that fresh air is great for wearing your babies out for nap time! There are some days that I go absolutely stir crazy and I think my god I can’t wait to go back to work but then you’ll witness sweet moments and milestones with your babies that warm your heart and get you through those super tough days. It’s also nice to not have to adhere to work schedules when you schedule doctors appointments, you are in control of your own schedule and there’s no boss to tell you that you can’t leave work early on Tuesday for your child’s appointment :) Shoot it’s nice just to make your own schedule in general! You can go to the beach one day and roam target the next if you want to. Overall I do not regret the time spent with my two babies at home but I am going to start looking for a new job when my daughter turns one. I feel in my heart it is best for me to return back to work for myself. There is no shame in trying the SAHM thing and seeing how you like it. It isn’t for everyone and it’s one of the hardest jobs you’ll ever have. If you decide it’s not what’s best for you and your family then go back to work. It’s not about the quantity of time you spend with your babies, it’s the quality ! PS - you’re going to have Irish twins like I have and it is the most adorable thing to see their bond. It melts my heart into puddles everyday 😘 💙💜

  • Jessica
    Feb 23, 2018

    It's definitely an adjustment. I feel like for me it was less of a choice, my husband works a pretty unpredictable schedule which can make child care difficult to find and expensive. We determined we would lose money if I worked (teacher). I was pretty bitter about the whole thing, and then felt guilty about wanting to spend my time teaching other kids then spend it with my own daughter. It really was like a lost of identity. I felt like the first two years of being a SAHM were just clouded with depression, guilt, and resentfulness at having to be "stuck" at home. When we moved to this area and I had my second daughter I decided enough was enough and I was going to make the best of it. We got into a routine of library classes, playgrounds, children events and exploring the area. Its a great area for families with alot to offer during the day. There's also lots of mom groups you can find through Meetup sites. I was hesitant to join because I think sometimes is SAHM get a bad rap, but I joined MOMS Club, which is an international organization that provides activities for moms and kids throughout the week. It has been a lifesaver. The ladies are very friendly, inclusive, and non-judgemental, at least the Elkridge chapter is. With no family in the area, the mom's have become a huge support system for our family and gives us more to do. They even have night for just us moms, which is a definite must . I feel like a better mom when I have been able to give myself a little break and it's important I remember yourself once in a while when your whole day revolves around someone else's needs and wants. Day to day, being a SAHM is hard especially when you start missing work and thinking about what your resume is going to look like with that gap, but I think when I look back on it I will be able to see how rewarding it actually was. And the jobs will be there when we are done. If you decide to try the SAHM thing I would definitely recommend getting into a routine where you leave the house for a couple hours a few times a week, try and find other moms either through an actual group or just by meeting them at playgrounds and classes, and take breaks for yourself.

  • Brittani
    Mar 04, 2018

    I'm a SAHM. I was very scared to make the decision to not return to work. But then I got some GREAT advice. She said, you have your whole life to work, your babies are only babies once." Once she said that I knew it was the right decision. I struggled at first with the repetitiveness and feeling like I'm not contributing. I was reminded that I am contributing to my child and what is better than being able to be with your child. I also joined a local mom group. We meet up for play dates, walks in the park, coffee, etc. Made some great friends and so cool to see your littles all grow together!

  • Suzanne
    Mar 06, 2018

    I just miss adult contact/conversation on a regular basis. It's great to share these times with your kids because they are only young once. If you make a routine of activities and places to go it doesn't get too much to handle but yes you do kinda lose your identity but gain it as just a mom and you gotta be ok with that, I am sure your kids are.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 13, 2018

    We decided to move closer to family again (which for us means back to Europe). I wouldn’t have a second kid without having a support system around although I am a SAHM. While I don’t really miss working I totally miss having close friends and family around. It’s heartbreaking to see how my toddler connects with his grandparents or friends when they’re visiting and then doesn’t understand why they leave again after a week or two. Also to just have someone around who takes the little one to the playground or zoo or even plays with him for half an hour at home without expecting something in return is priceless IMHO.

  • Brenna
    Mar 15, 2018

    I was a high school teacher and LOVED teaching but couldn’t stand the thought of someone else raising my child when I was perfectly able to and was blessed enough to be able to afford to stay home. I’m now on baby #2 and don’t regret staying home a single day. I missed teaching a little at first but now I have no desire to be there instead of with my babies. Time goes so so quickly and I don’t want to miss a single moment if I don’t have to. I think in order for it not to feel isolating and lonely you HAVE to have other adult friends who also have children around your kids’ ages. I sort of have built in friends through church but that has been super important to staying sane. I say go for it 100%!! It’s hard sometimes because kids are hard work but they are beyond worth it. Good luck with everything!!