Dru

My oldest currently goes to two schools...one on T & Th and another on W. The W one was his previous daycare and since his new preschool only had 2 days avail, I thought it would be good to have him stay one day there. He loves his old school and always asks for his teacher. Says how much fun he has there. Now the new school he says "scares him" and cries (very hard and long) every time I drop him off. He's not a big crier either, so out of the norm for him. Obviously this will just take some getting used to for him, but does anyone have tips for him or me?? Makes me so sad because I know he loves school. Pic is from his W (first) school. Look at that smile!

  • Anne
    Sep 05, 2017

    Oof this sounds tough. My gut feeling is that being in both at the same time is making it harder for him to make the transition. Counter-intuitively, we had less drama making a BIG leap (from home to full-time, structured school) than we did a smaller one (from home to part-time, play-based school). I think setting expectations really helps. Do you have a calendar that is down on his level that he can understand? We had one with little velcro pictures so my son would know who was picking him up from preschool that day. It really helped his ability to make the transition when he knew ahead of time what to expect. The teachers also helped reinforce this by preparing him ("today daddy will pick you up. tomorrow you'll be at home with auntie." etc) Maybe that's something to try? Good luck to you and your sweet boy!

  • Sara
    Sep 05, 2017

    No advice but at preschool orientation they told us that it can take up to 5 weeks (!!) of crying for kids to transition to a new preschool. I love Anne's idea about a calendar. I think I will try that.

  • Dru
    Sep 05, 2017

    @Anne LOVE the calendar idea! Will do that today. Thanks for the tip! @Sara He was so good at daycare, but it is a big change. Going from a class of 6 to 21. Hope B has a great first day!

  • Anonymous
    Sep 05, 2017

    Crying and needing to adjust is normal, but when I read your post, the concern I see is that he says it scares him. Kids are brutally honest and if he's scared it's not cause it's a new school is because of a behavior from a teacher. If he was crying and saying he missed you or liked the other school better or he was nervous or did not like his friends there that would be normal but actually being scared means he's afraid of the teachers behavior. Have you asked him why he is scared? Do the teachers yell? Have you visited the school at an unscheduled time to check on him? Have you toured any other schools that your son seemed to like? It took me 6 months to find a preschool for our first child, my expectations are very high and most of the schools cost the same but there is always a difference with how the teachers are. Good luck!

  • Margaret
    Sep 05, 2017

    Couple of questions: 1) is the basic schedule the same at his t&th school? As in does it start earlier or later? 2) have you asked him what scares him about his school? 3) have you talked to his new teacher about how he is during class? Is there someone he's not getting along with or transitions that he's resisting?

  • Margaret
    Sep 05, 2017

    Also: sometimes the school is simply not the right fit and that's perfectly okay! The school and teachers could be wonderful for some kids but not for others. It doesn't mean that either the school or your child is wrong.

  • Dru
    Sep 05, 2017

    Thanks for the responses! 1- schedule is the same, but the class size is larger and he has 3 versus 1 teacher. Old school was more of a play only daycare...new school is a Montessori with more of a classroom schedule with rules. 2) I have asked him (he's only used the term scares me twice) and he says he doesn't know why. This is his 3rd week and every time I've picked him up the last 2 weeks he was happy and the teachers say he's having doing well and having fun.