My son needs a male figure—- his dad sucks!!!
So my son is 3.5 and he has some disabilities causing him to be hyper, not listen, is aggressive at times, and has sensitivity issues too. Basically he’s not actually on the Autistic spectrum but he’s right there. So his dad is away at work M-F and when he is here on weekends he also works most of the day (mostly so he doesn’t have to DEAL). We have a 1 year old daughter too and we haven’t been “together as a couple” since her birth for the most part. I have tried to tell him to move out and we can just move on with our lives but he refuses to be gone. I’m not going to be in any court systems so I can’t have him removed that’s not an option. So basically I am trying to be civil and live together when he’s here best of my abilities. It’s very difficult bc he’s super nice to our daughter but ALWAYS tearing into our son for everything he does and he does A LOT but he can’t help him impulsive behavior bc he’s disabled. I have told him thousands of times that our son is angry with him mostly bc he wants him to be nice and understanding to him like he is his baby sister. Even tho he’s bold. Yes. He begs for attention and when he doesn’t get what he so desperately wants he acts out. As any kid does. He thinks at 3.5 he should sit and play quietly or play NICE with his things instead of smash toys into other toys like cars etc. I have told him THATS WHAT BOYS DO!!! He doesn’t get it. Bc he was in foster care his whole life he played nice and calm and quiet as not to be in trouble. It’s just so bad I need my son to have a MAN in his life to look up to. I been thinking of that program for siblings like big brother kinda thing but I have serious trust issues with other ppl around my kids. (There was an incident with my oldest) previous marriage. I’m just at a loss. My son needs an understanding and accepting MAN in his life and idk where to turn for one. God knows it will eat him alive if I had someone and that’s ALL his son would talk about but at this point too BAD! He doesn’t make time to be positive and patient with his son and if someone else can then too BAD IDC! I need advice on how or what I can do to provide my boy with a positive manly influence in his life. Thanks in advance.