Posted in Babywearing, Behavior, Babies

My younger son wants us to hold him a lot. I do pick him up when I can, but when I'm cooking or have my hands full he's kind of out of luck 😬 my question is, have any of you had a baby that wants to be held a lot and then end up spoiled as a toddler? This probably sounds like a dumb question, but he's the baby and of course I want to hold him as much as I can, but I also don't want it to be a detriment to him or myself later if he throws tantrums.

  • Sara
    Mar 18

    I highly recommend babywearing. I wore my daughter even as a toddler too (using the Toddler Tula). It was a great way for me to have my hands free and still keep her close (though I wouldn't do it while cooking anything hot because that could be pretty dangerous). As far as holding your baby making them spoiled, I don't buy that. Babies need to be held to feel secure and loved. That security gives them confidence later on in life!

  • Melissa
    Mar 18

    I do have a carrier, but he doesn't want it. He wants me to HOLD him! Lol

  • Ashley
    Mar 18

    My 1 year old wants me to hold him every day of every minute. Sometimes when I really can’t hold him I have to put him down. He cries for a bit but then he becomes distracted by his older brother 😄

  • antigrav_kids
    Mar 18

    Ditto what Sara said about spoiling. My kids were tied to me in the wrap all the time. I think they are now super independent. At first, I was very leery of attachment parenting, because 'what if they never unattached?' Then I looked up one day, and the 18 month old kid was a 100 yards away on the Stony Brook quad making friends with passersby. All three of the kids still threw fits as two year olds. I viewed it more as a bid for being in charge though :)

  • Aaron
    Mar 18

    I wouldn’t worry about it too much. As a father of 3, my wife and I had to treat each kid differently. Our eldest of course we made a lot of “mistakes” with, then the 2nd came around and we were way better weathered! Then the 3rd was born and it just comes naturally. Nurture how you can, when you can. My wife and I are of the mindset that the new additions have to learn very slowly that 1: we’ll always be there to love them while we’re alive, and 2: that when we’re busy we’re busy and to self-sooth. It’s a rough go for the first bit, but they’re SO good at adapting! Waaaaay better than us adults, haha.

  • Melissa
    Mar 18

    Thanks guys :)

  • CMiller
    Mar 18

    It’s better to give them too much love than not enough.

  • Damon
    Mar 18

    Can’t spoil a toddler. They need that contact. Are you sure it’s contact? They might just feel left out. Feeling included is important. They can’t see anything above your thigh, everything is out of reach, and the only way they know sometimes is to get picked up. We use a learning tower. Found a foldable one on amazon. It’s a tip proof platform that puts them at counter height. My son has been helping my wife make pancakes and whatnot since he was able to stand. Now he’ll just hang out there with a toy, while my wife cooks sometimes, talking to us. This isn’t ours, but you get the idea. Google it, SO SO many designs DIY to crazy multipurpose designs.

  • Christina
    Mar 18

    I had to baby wear all the time. She is a very independent toddler (2.75 years) now. Try out different carriers if you can. Maybe he’s not comfortable with what you have. I do understand about the cooking, that’s very dangerous to have a baby right where you could be splashed with something hot.

  • Susan
    Mar 19

    My youngest is a koala baby. I babywear him a lot and he enjoys it. He’s perfectly independent at daycare and has no issues playing on his own, he just prefers to be cuddled. I held my older one all the time too and he’s an extremely independent toddler.

  • Brandy
    Mar 19

    Spoiled is a child that is entitled, not a child that is held a lot. Bonds are formed by closeness (physical contact).

  • Ashley
    Mar 23

    Girl , hold him while u can because pretty soon he won’t want u to hold him and then u will wish you would have while u had the chance, they grow so fast