Posted in Family Planning, LGBTQ

Myself and my husband are both LGBTQI. He's trans, I am genderfluid AFAB — I carry the children. We're also polyamorous, hence our son. We've been talking about having another baby for a while... but for obvious reasons, given my boyfriend doesn't want another one, we're in a bit of a pickle. Has anyone else ever been in this situation? How did you deal with it, if you did manage a second child? Sperm banks are out of the question... we cannot hope to afford one.

  • Anne
    Apr 10, 2018

    Have you considered using sperm from a known donor? If you ask around your male friends you may be able to find someone willing to contribute and there are steps to minimize risk to both parties in case of future conflicts. Good article here: http://www.path2parenthood.org/article/using-a-known-sperm-donor-understanding-the-legal-risks-and-challenges/

  • Rhiannon O'Callaghan
    Apr 10, 2018

    I have. Unfortunately, no one is willing. :/

  • Rhiannon O'Callaghan
    Apr 10, 2018

    Thank you for the link! If anyone changes their mind that will be crazy helpful.

  • Jane
    Apr 10, 2018

    Unfortunately known donor situations outside of home insemination are not going to be any cheaper than going through sperm banks...especially concerning potential legal issues. (Honestly the legal advice alone might cost as much as just going through a sperm bank :( ) There are resources to find sperm donors and coparents though, here are a few I know of: https://knowndonorregistry.com/ https://www.co-parentmatch.com/ https://www.prideangel.com/

  • Rhiannon O'Callaghan
    Apr 10, 2018

    Thank you so much!

  • Anonymous
    Apr 16, 2018

    Honestly sperm banks aren’t crazy expensive. I mean compared to the cost of having kids! (But maybe it just feels that way to me bc we ended up eventually doing IVF, where the sperm was the least expensive part.) Not poly but similar trans family here. Good luck!!

  • Anonymous
    Feb 15

    I am a known donor for three different families. We all met through the Known Donor Registry site. Although all of us had mixed experiences there, the key part was to keep looking & talking to people (online, then in real life) until you meet that donor with which you just “click.” It has been the most emotionally rewarding experience in my life. ♥️