Posted in Behavior, Toddlers

Need advice

Anonymous

What is this best way to discipline a 20 month old . My son’s behavior is horrible now . The screaming. Hitting and the tantrums are worse . I really don’t know how to discipline him because he can’t talk yet ? Please I’ll take any tips

  • Kristianne
    Mar 17

    My son’s about the same age! It’s REALLY hard, but I try to ignore his tantrums. I stand with him in the corner when he hits, firmly telling him he can leave when he can show me “nice”. There have also been times that I’ve been pushed to my limit and put him in his crib for ~5 minutes so we can BOTH calm down. Hang in there! It’ll get better when he can speak clearly and listen to reason in a few months!

  • Raji
    Mar 18

    I haven’t reached that stage yet but No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury had good ideas. Read it if you have time

  • Anonymous
    Mar 18

    Thank you I’ll look it up

  • Lynn
    Mar 18

    Alan Kazdin’s everyday parenting toolkit. He’s the director of the Yale parenting center. Real world examples that work. Not a self help book. No froo froo lalala.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 18

    What that a book? Lynn

  • Lynn
    Mar 18

    Yes. It’s a book. You can get the paperback or kindle version.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 18

    Oh okay got cha

  • Timothy
    Mar 20

    It is difficult disciplining your child before he can talk. He’s likely having just as much trouble expressing himself without hitting or throwing tantrums. I highly recommend No Drama Discipline, which will teach you how your child’s mind is developing, how you can build a lasting relationship with your child and teach him to self-regulate his emotions. Right now in your son’s development, it’s not likely that his intentions are to be violent, chaotic, or seeking negative attention. What’s key to do is to empathize with him. Is he hungry? Is he tired? Is he overwhelmed? Or is it a more complex emotion, like jealousy? For example, one time my 2 year old daughter hit our 2 month old son. My wife was holding our son, and I had just put my daughter down from my lap to leave the room and take a work call. My daughter was jealous, however she doesn’t know how to communicate this. Another evening my daughter was throwing tantrums and we later learned she was wanting time with mom. In either of these moments, we try to be calm so our tone and words help bring her to a calm place. It’s never a teachable moment when a child is kicking and screaming. I usually can calm down my daughter by acknowledging her emotions. She understands a lot more words than she can express. So, I might say, “I am listening. I know you would like to see Mommy.” If I’m right, she will calm down. Once she’s calm, I can redirect or tell her something like, “Mommy cannot come right now, but she will see you soon.” I usually get an “Ok” from our daughter and can move on.

  • Erica
    Mar 20

    Your child is learning how to process some big emotions right now, and he has to learn how to deal with them properly. Up til now, you have been his personal servant, jumping up to fill all his needs. And now you are giving him rules, like suddenly you are the boss instead of him. Imagine your crown being ripped away from you. So. You need to teach him to sort through his emotions. Give them a name: anger, frustration, sadness. And teach him a good way to deal with each one. It’s difficult, but also the older people in his life should work to model good behavior in that regard. No mommy tantrums or daddy yelling.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 20

    Thank you for the feedback

  • Erica
    Mar 25

    One of the toughest stages. He/she just wants to talk. I remember being in tears almost every day. I can honestly say that this will be the shortest/longest time of your life. You got this mama

  • Anonymous
    Mar 26

    Thanks Erica