Anonymous

Need insights on sibling age gap???

My toddler just turned 2 but I’ve been yearning more to have a baby as each day passed & as my toddler is becoming less of a baby. My husband & I do want a 2nd baby but there were so many things that had happened recently & so many still to look forward to. We just moved to a new city with his new job & we’re saving up hopeful to afford our 1st home. But we’re both in our 30s, I’m turning 35 & he will be 39 this year. It’s been a lot to raise our boy now & so there’s so many things to consider, financially & well, our physical, emotional capacity, to raise another kid. Just wanting to hear how you feel about your kids age gap & did it work for your family in most aspects. We’re currently thinking this year would be nice to have another baby so our toddler will be 3 when the baby is born. But we don’t plan to send him to preschool earlier than 4 yrs old. I currently stay home full time & take care of our toddler boy, we do not have family & babysitters that help us. Is a 3-4 year gap, a big age gap? Will they still relate to each other? I only have 1 sibling, my sis & I have a huge 12 yr gap. My husband grew up close to all his siblings bcos their age are close. Thanks!

  • Amanda
    Jan 09

    My youngest sister and I have a 7 year age gap and we've always been extremely close! But my mom also cultivated it that way, encouraging us to be friends and spend time together. I think that siblings of any age gap can be close, and 3-4 years sounds like a very manageable age gap for both the parents and the children!

  • Krystal
    Jan 09

    My brother and I are three years apart. It was perfect, we were still close in age enough to enjoy the same things and each other's company. Far apart enough to have our own friends and other interests. I never really had to babysit him, that was nice. My youngest is five years younger than my middle child. When he was a baby she was so excited to help.. now that he's older they still play all the time. We run into issues with things like tv.. he wants Nick Jr.. she doesn't, and he used to cry when she went off to school or had an activity he couldn't attend. Still they're close.

  • A
    Jan 09

    No advice, but I’m kind of in your boat - so curious to what everyone says. I have twins who are turning 4 this year, I want another one and my husband says he does too, just “not right now.” The thing is ... I’m worried about the age gap and the fact that we are getting older.

  • Melly
    Jan 09

    I wanted my kids to be around 2-2.5 years apart because that's how all my siblings are, and it felt like a nice separation and we're all close, but it took me longer than expected to get pregnant and our kids ended up 3.5 years apart. But I think having my daughter that much older actually helped with the transition because she was more self sufficient, had her own "life" at preschool, understood what was going on, and could actually be a little helpful. Plus we were able to transition her to a bed and not have to get another crib, and she was happy to give her baby brother things she didn't need anymore because she was "a big girl." It sounds like the age difference would work well for you, as the older could have some time getting used to the new baby, then go off to preschool and do his own thing. My husband and I were 38 when our second came along and those few years make a difference, the sleep depravity hurts more, our backs hurt more, etc. so I'm glad it happened when it did, and we are not planning to have anymore children. Don't stress it, sibling love is the best. Good luck!

  • K
    Jan 09

    We began trying four second when our first turned 2. We got pregnant first try....with twins 😲. He was 3 mths shy of his third birthday when the girls were born and he has been amazing! He is about to turn 5 and the girls just turned 2. They are just now in the phase where they play together, he has his moments bc they love to create chaos, but he loves his sisters, find them hysterical. I am 5 years younger than my brother and 3 years younger than my sister. I think the 3 year gap is great bc he still received a lot of attention in the girls first year and now he is mature enough to understand he sometimes needs to wait for his alone time until they nap or go to bed. Any age gap your children have will be great bc it’s the environment you create and nurture that determines their connection. Good luck!!

  • anonymous mom
    Jan 10

    My only advice is to go for it. You never know what the future holds and close sibling relationships are not a given and are more a product of parenting and personalities rather than age difference (in my experience). I’m close with all my siblings but I’m most closest to my eldest sibling...she’s 20 years and 3 days older than I am and she’s my best friend.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 11

    I’ll say from personal experience, you don’t know how long it’s going to take to get pregnant again. You probably don’t have any real control about how far apart they are and even if you did, you have no control over what their relationship will be. If you know you want more kids and are financially and otherwise able to handle having more, don’t wait just start trying.

  • MOM
    Jan 11

    I think age gap of 4-5 years in siblings is not a big gal . My baby number 2 is due this year and my older one will be almost 5 so I think its a personal decision.

  • Cathy
    Jan 12

    I’m 17 weeks pregnant and my son will be 3.5 when this baby comes. I say go for it. You’ll never regret expanding your family.

  • EmmaD
    Jan 16

    If you are yearning then go for it, you need to be motivated. I think that’s the bottom line. The rest will be solved. I myself have a 3 year old daughter and still waiting for the yearning feeling to provide her with a sibling but right now my mind says: ”no way, not all over again from scratch” im finally now starting to feel like an independant person again. But everytime she plays with her dolls so sweetly and is overly sweet to babies i think, oh she would help me so much... but we also just moved here and our families are in Europe. Not always so easy to make these decsicions. Everyone who has two small kids looks exhausted. But in the end it’s hopefully tough only a couple of years. 🙈🤪

  • CJN
    Friday

    I'm in the same situation. My son is 2 and we want to move to a bigger home ( preferably build) with that takes a long time. BUT I don't want to go around that it's just one of those big changes where moving while pregnant or with NB will be chaotic but with anything you manage to get through it. I say follow your heart and do what will make you happy.