Posted in Adult Children, Babies

New mom after 23 years

Hello everyone, my name is Angie and I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby boy after 23 years. I have a 23 year old daughter and after my husband and I were told by his doctor that he could no longer have children this baby was a true blessing for us. Even though I've raised one child I feel like this is all new to me. Anyone going the the same experience as I am? I must admit my anxiety is on overdrive right now.

  • Susie
    Apr 28, 2018

    Morning Angie. How wonderful!! Congratulations on your baby boy! Your 23 year old must be delighted!! I do hear you!! I have a 17 month little guy who has come along after my teens who are 15 and 18. He has certainly turned our worlds upside down. Lots of adjusting by all!! He was very much wished for as we had lost a baby girl at 36 weeks a few years before. It was a very traumatic and life changing time for my husband and I and we made the decision to try again. I was 44 and my husband 50 when we started trying for another baby. We were incredibly blessed and now have the most delicious little baby boy. Before and just after he was born I was terrified and felt very alone in this new chapter. Even small things like taking him grocery shopping felt daunting. As time went on I began to get my old confidence back. Having my teenagers really helped! We moved to the US only a couple of months ago so I’m making a massive effort to just go with the flow and just enjoy every moment in our new environment. I’m now feeling more chilled than I was with my other kids and am just taking my time to savor every day. Good luck to you and call out if you need anything.

  • Anonymous
    Apr 28, 2018

    I was born well over a decade after my other siblings. It's likely that your newest little one will benefit immeasurably from your experience, wisdom, and lesons learned with your first born. No need for anxiety, you got this :)

  • Desiree
    Apr 28, 2018

    Congratulations!! I have a 12 year old and a 6 month old. It’s nice to get to do it all over with some perspective. I had a lot of anxiety during pregnancy about having a baby again but I’m enjoying immensely now.

  • Daisy
    Apr 28, 2018

    I’m not going through the same thing, but my siblings are all 7-12 years younger than me. I have felt like it was a lot easier getting a long with them growing up. The benefit my mom loved the most, was me helping babysit! I have a 9 year old and won’t have another kid until he’s probably about 12-15. So I understand the anxiety you feel. Almost like starting all over. But rest assured, no matter the age gap, I’ve always heard it’s easier with the second one. I’m sure you’ll be an even greater mom the second time around!

  • Judy
    Apr 29, 2018

    You’re going to do awesome. I’m the youngest of 11. And my sister that’s the oldest is 22 years older. She’s more like a second mom or an aunt than she is a big sister. And I’m closer in age to my nephews and nieces than I am my siblings. Congrats!

  • Mandy
    May 02, 2018

    Congratulations!!

  • Lisa
    May 05, 2018

    My husband was the youngest of 6. All of his older brothers were already married when he was born. They treat him like a nephew and completely forget that our sons were their parents' youngest grandchildren. At each parents' funeral, both our sons and my husband were pretty much left out. Remind your older child (ren) to treat the new one as an equal. BTW, congrats!

  • Elle
    May 05, 2018

    Congrats! Also, I have [i think] a slightly different take on what one of the above posters mentioned. Definitely agree that both your kids need to understand that they are both your kids and that both should treat each other kindly and fairly. But I would suggest adjusting (loosening) expectations of them having a 'traditional' sibling relationship. They may, but they also may not -- and that's okay too, because, honestly, they didn't grow up with other another. It might not look like sibling-sibling; it might look more like uncle/nephew or older cousin/younger cousin, and that's ubderstandable with the age difference. Forcing it will hurt, not help, and there's also no need. Often, kids with large age gaps will end up bonding when they're both older/adults. In short, as they grow, step in to help and motivate a positive relationship between them, but don't force it. Give them both a bit more space to negotiate their relationship because it'll need to be something that works for both of them.