Posted in Family Life, Stay-at-Home Moms, Stay-at-Home Parents

New SAHM

I have recently decided to mostly stop working after Christmas and I am super nervous about it! I have been working almost 50 hours a week but I have realized that most of my money is going to childcare and fast food because I never have time to cook. What are routines that y’all stick to? How do you keep busy throughout the day? My daughter will be 3 next week. My son is in school during the day.

  • Christa
    Dec 10

    I am a stay at home mom, full time. I was like you; I worked 50-80 hours a week, clear up until I was 7.5 months pregnant, when my body up longer could keep up with the intensity and I was sending myself into pre term labor... no good. So stay at home mom thing, HUGE adjustment, but it’s not something that you will hear other say as “lucky” it’s dang hard, and a full on sacrifice, but worth every moment if you commit to it. You will have days at the start where you think what the hell was I thinking?! Seriously. I did. What I did, I learned to start a routine. Up by about 7-730 every morning, turn the coffee pot on, get little man out of bed, let the dogs out, work on potty training - to the potty we go, make our bed, get dressed, make breakfast (while putting together an agenda for the day), library, groceries, swimming {these are summer activities - the swimming pool} finish breakfast, clean the kitchen, dishes, sweep/ mop, wipe the table off, sort laundry 🧺 by about 1230-1 pm nap time for baby- I lay down too- until about 3:30. Snack, play time- he plays independently, and I read a book and have a cup of tea {seriously, I need my time too!}, pick up toys, make dinner, eat dinner, clean up dinner, feed my dogs, potty the dogs, get baby in the bath tub, jammas and bed time to sit quietly and watch the news until he falls asleep!! I have him in bed anywhere between 630 and 730 pm - depending on the day. The schedule varies from day to day as far as activities go. We go to the library, or go get groceries, swimming in the summer time, go for a walk with our dog, play in the yard. We have chickens so we go take care of them and make sure our wood pile is cleaned up, and full. Since becoming a stay at home mom, I’ve actually learned a TON of new things- I learned to make bread, pies, my sewing skills have gotten so much better and have learned to make clothes for my son if he needs them, or alter them if needed. I have read more books since being a stay at home mom. I’ve tried new recipes- some are terrible, but it’s fun. I’ve learned more about the world around us, and what I can do on a single income as far as activities. I have learned to cook all sorts of cool things- because I was a freezer dinner person, and if I ate a bowl of cereal for dinner all the better. I’m not going to sugar coat it and say it’s easy- it’s not, but you start committing to the life style, you find that you don’t need a lot to have a really amazing time with your kids. And to me, it’s a invaluable life lesson for your children. There will be some days where you just say “to hell with it” let’s just chill and watch movies all day, and we do that. And I totally don’t feel guilty about it. We also started a garden, so we are outside when the weather is nice- and watching the plants get bigger, or finding the fruit and vegetables that the garden has given us. In the fall, we are out playing in the leafs, playing in the snow, and if it’s raining we play in the puddles too!! My husband works 4 hours away from us 5 days a week and is home 2 days and 2 nights a week, so we learn to do whatever we can during the week to maximize the time we get with him when he’s home.

  • Kate
    Dec 10

    Christa, I think you’re my hero! Nice work with it all - I still have a ways to go. My reading for pleasure has plummeted, every button I sew seems to fall out, and I still love a good bowl of cereal for dinner. 🙂 I was in a similar situation as you ladies - worked long hours for a demanding career I wasn’t sure I wanted to put on hold. Took me a while to come around to the idea of staying at home, but I can say that, for me, it’s the right choice right now. I was also able to let go of some anxiety about not working when I met up with coworkers/colleagues after I’d left. I’d been so nervous about my ability to jump back into work later down the road, and they really helped to boost my confidence that the work will be there and there’s a place for me if/when I’m ready to come back. (As women leaving the workforce, whether temporarily or permanently, I just don’t think we hear this kind of supportive talk enough.) I agree with Christa that routines have been very helpful (although I don’t know if my details will help much as my daughter is 18 months old). And once I started to lean into it and embrace the change, it got easier and more enjoyable. Go easy on yourself on those tough days, and celebrate the small victories. Good luck to you, Kaitlin!

  • Christa
    Dec 10

    @Katlin, I seriously appreciate it, but we are all hero’s in our own way. Women are amazing creatures and can do a lot once we put our minds to it. My schedule revolves the way it does from marrying a military man- Coast Guard, and we have a 10 month old son (whose super independent - which I’ve taught him because we live that life style of military) So maybe my schedule isn’t the best to follow, but it’s a start I suppose!!!! I guess I’ve just learned to keep our day busy and structured because I married into structure!!