No sex drive for over a year? Is This Normal or Happening To Anyone Else?

My beautiful daughter turned a year old in September and yet I have yet to get really intimate with my partner and it's been a whole year.A few times we had been intimate I felt great but later on I was disgusted by the thought of what I had done.I am very much attracted to my partner but I am disgusted 85% of the time when he try's to make sexual advances or even at the thought of doing anything and even though I'm okay with not having sex I at least want to be held but even then I'm grossed out at the thought of being touched, it's tearing my relationship apart.I don't feel normal because I am disgusted at the thought of being intimate and I just want a little insight on what it could possibly be.Am I the only female dealing with this?

  • anonymous mom
    Nov 26

    Everything is normal!! It’s so hard after we have a baby, our hormones are all over the place and if you’re breastfeeding a lot of the time you have low sex drive or are overall dry down there, making it difficult. It sounds like you may be experiencing depression or some sort of emotional imbalance. I’m so sorry!! Can you speak to your gynecologist about this?? They can help you try to understand if this is physiological, emotional, or both. Also if you have a way to do so, seek talk therapy or a new parent supper group. As I said, there’s almost no abnormal after kids. Our bodies, our lives, our brains, everything changes and those changes can be unique or common. Good luck.

  • Jenn
    Nov 26

    My daughter is 18 months and I'm 3 months pregnant with our second. Yes, we obviously had sex after our first, but most of the time I didn't want to and I def don't want to now. I feel bad for my husband, but I just don't have it in me. You are not alone!

  • Bethany
    Nov 26

    I am going through that same thing rn! And I’m at a loss of what to do

  • Nikki
    Nov 28

    I agree this is totally normal I mean I do enjoy being cuddled when there’s time but I always feel like I never get any time to relax and instead of having sex I’d rather just relax and enjoy the silence. The end of the day is simmer down time in my mind not work on cardio lol.

  • antigrav_kids
    Nov 28

    As a dad, I went through a similar time. For me, it was because I always had someone in my space, even when I slept--we coslept, which after three kids I really recommend, but after the second kid was really rough for me for whatever reason. I usually had a kid strapped to me, (something I wound up really happy with as well), and when I finally got some time to myself, I just wanted space. I think, for me, it just took time to adjust.

  • Anonymous
    Dec 01

    I went through something similar. It turned out, there were some underlying issues with our relationship that took me several months to figure out. But once we both acknowledged the issues, and tried to change, I felt more willing to be intimate. Maybe see if there is anything that could be bugging you underneath the sex?

  • meghan

    Went through something similar and it ended up being the birth control I was on. Switched brands and had a much better reaction. Worth taking a look at if that’s your situation too.