Posted in Sex, Trying to Conceive

No sex life.

Anonymous

My husband and I have no sex life It’s not just days, weeks, months but it is YEARS. Almost 3! We have intimacy, we kiss and hug throughout the day, cuddle and he does cute things like slaps me on my bum while I’m cooking dinner. We have occasional date nights too. I honestly just don’t know how to get in the mood. I just can’t “do it,” — and I’m not a very sexual or sensual person. We are talking about a second child but that’s not just going to pop out of thin air 😂. Thoughts? Please be kind!

  • Anonymous
    Oct 29

    I feel your pain. I don’t know how to get in the mood either. I miss the intimacy a lot, but when it comes down to it I never really want to.

  • JJ
    Oct 29

    Bite the bullet and jump his bones. Set the mood. Maybe a nice sip or two of good bourbon. Put some music on and start getting handsy.

  • Leah
    Oct 29

    I also feel your pain . I have a 2 year old and 5 month old and a stay at home mom. So when the kids go to sleep I just want to relax while he want to have sex . I feel bad. He tries to turn me on but I don't even be wanting him to touch me sometimes . sex has gotten corny to me . somebody help us !

  • Anonymous
    Oct 29

    Phew. Thought it was just me!!!

  • V
    Oct 29

    You need to explore the things that make you get to that point. Can he satisfy you in some way to get you started? What would make you feel sexy? Tell him to share with you the things that turn him on about you. Hope you guys find your groove... sex isn’t just for baby making! It should also bring you closer! Good luck! :)

  • Cherise
    Oct 29

    Try something new together like a sex toy, or try giving massages before getting into foreplay. Make it priority ti have sex even if you tired. Once you get going you will enjoy it. Hard with kids, if grandparents are close let them take kids one night so you can have wine and get into it. And even if some foreplay and no sex that will still have you both in a great mood

  • Becky
    Oct 30

    Are you on birth control? I was on the depo shot after my second one and I was very moody and did not want my husband touching me. I got on something else and it helped.

  • Anonymous
    Oct 30

    Nope. Not on any birth control!

  • Elizabeth
    Nov 02

    Same situation here! But we do it every couple weeks. Excluding the past month for chaos life reasons. He's so frustrated because he has a high sex drive and mine is just gone.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 02

    Here the same! It’s been a year no sex and I’m afraid he could find some one else just for that! 😑

  • Michelle
    Dec 05

    Hug longer, touch more and make out.....all of this puts me in the mood. Then, even if it doesn’t, I lead him to the room and as soon as he starts it..I finally get in the mood. Good luck!!

  • Tino
    Wednesday

    I think for a woman, it’s a lot to do about being “just a woman” Meaning, being intentional about putting down the “mom hat”, the “wife hat” and just enjoying a time for yourself. Finding things that take up a little of your tome for just you. It isn’t selfish, it is being sure that all you offer to your husband and your kids is the best of you … not just “everything you are” just for the sake of being there as a mom. I think it’s not correct to think that you have to give it your all. Think of airplane emergency procedures; you have to put on the mask first before you put it on a child. Meaning you have to give yourself the safety of your own breath before you can try to help treat anyone else. After MAKING some leisure time for yourself, care for your husband. As in, reconnect and rekindle the things that attracted you to each other so much. Let the intimacy be something you’re walking into and being intentional about. Good luck and go GET IT!! 😉