Anonymous

Number of kids

I am one of two kids and so is my husband. We have had conversations in the past and agreed that we both want 2 kids. The problem is that we have 2 boys that I totally adore BUT I can’t stop wondering if we should “try for a girl”. I love kids, I love watching my boys’ relationship grow. I know that my husband does not ever consider having another one. He has mentioned that he doesn’t know if he can handle the stress of having another since I am on the older side (38) and since our first son was a preemie. I mean pregnancy was stressful for me because of having a preemie....For anyone that has gone through this- does the feeling of uncertainty around whether not you are actually done having kids ever go away?

  • Cathy
    Jan 25

    GO FOR IT. You will never regret expanding your family. EVER. What you will regret, is the what if.....and if it’s another boy, you’ll still be blessed. We are in a similar boat. I am 38 and we have a two year old. And I think I just answered my own question with my own advice!

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jan 25

    I would argue that you should go for it if you want three kids. I don’t think you should expand it simply for another gender because odds are not in your favor. Once you have had two of the same gender in a row, it is much more likely you continue to have that gender. That being said, I had two boys, then a girl and am now pregnant again. But, I always wanted four kids regardless of gender. I love having a big family of young kids. But just make sure you want three kids, not two boys and a girl. Want the whole Picture, if that makes sense.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 25

    Both my husband and I are from two kid households. We have three very young kids and are in our late thirties. I feel like above poster mentioned - I would never regret my third, but maybe would regret not having another if I had been on the fence.

  • Elle
    Jan 25

    1. How would you feel if you ended up with 3 boys? 2. How would you feel if you felt done with 3 kids, but then your husband was pushing for a fourth? Ie how would you feel if roles were reversed?

  • Dee
    Jan 29

    I agree, down the ticking time line, if you don’t- years from now you’ll regret it. Go for it! Every child is a blessing. Remember, no time is the right time!

  • Renee
    Jan 31

    I have 6 daughters. I had my last at age 42. I’m now 48 and still want more, but I know at this point it would not be very responsible. I think for some, the desire never goes away. Looking forward to having grandkids.

  • Lynn
    Jan 31

    I know exactly how you feel 😊 I have 2 boys and another boy on the way! 🤗 We made the decision to have a third because we wanted to grow our family. We did not peg that the third ‘had’ to be a girl. Of course, we hoped for a girl; BUT no matter boy or girl, as cliche as it sounds, we really just wanted to have just a healthy baby. I’m 34 weeks pregnant and I don’t regret not trying at all because babies are a blessing. This is just my experience and you will know what is right for you and your family. I truly wish you the best!!!

  • Lily
    Feb 06

    Go for it! But just remember you might get another boy! I know a family that had a girl, then 3 boys, really really wanted another girl....and they are having another boy! I don't think the feeling of wanting more ever goes away!

  • Cryzana
    Feb 11

    Why not adopt?

  • Suzanne
    Mar 26

    My husband is one of three and I’m an only child. Before pregnancy, we had agreed on wanting one child. We now have a beautiful 2 years old son and I would like to have another child. He’s 41 and I’m 36. My husband is sticking to having one. Now it’s a matter of respecting the wishes of my partner and acknowledging what we had previously agreed on. I know in my relationship, I would be forcing my partner into something they don’t want. I was fine with one before, so I’ve had to search my reasoning for why that was. I still wish for another child but it isn’t worth IMO risking a strife in my marriage. It comes down to finding the right balance for your family.

  • Jessica
    Nov 01

    I currently have two boys but before finding out my second was also a boy- we were done we only wanted two kids. But I have always wanted a girl and so has my husband so we kept going back and forth and I didn’t want to live the rest of my life with the “what if”. I mean even if it’s another boy, I will be over the moon. I have been pretty lucky with two heathy boys but if it’s not meant to be this time than I know I tried and won’t live in regret. I actually just found out that I’m 7 weeks pregnant so I’m feeling a bit anxious to find out what we are having. Hope you and your husband make the best decision for both of you and good luck if you decide on having a third. Children are blessings!!