Only hearing baby at night and not preggo wife.

Hey all, I’m looking for some advice on how to hear both my wife and my kids during the night while I’m sleeping. While my wife was pregnant with our first child I heard her instantly when she needed help turning or anything else; but now with our first son born and in the room in his crib and she’s pregnant with our second child (third trimester) it seems I only hear him stirring in the night. We didn’t sleep train him so much so he wakes up a few times every night, then she wakes up to use the washroom and turn which she needs help with. The problem arises when she is trying to wake me to help her do those things and I don’t wake up for 10-15 minutes of her calling out to me. However, I will hear our son in his crib even if he stirs and doesn’t cry. It’s causing issues in our relationship and all I want to do is help, it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do and I have no idea how to solve this problem. I’ll be honest sometimes I used to get annoyed with how often I have to get up during the night and I know it’s a horrible thing to feel. Trust me, it is getting better. I’m generally a very patient person and I understand that she depends on me to help her, it’s just for some reason I simply cannot hear her like I used to and it’s very problematic. It’s been going on for several months. She used to be able to shake my pillow to wake me up, but now all she can do is whisper or speak quietly due to her sleeping positions and it doesn’t work as effectively anymore. I figure I need to say some sorta mantra in my mind to hear her or create some sorta fear that something bad will happen to her if I don’t hear her and maybe that will work? I honestly have no idea to program my brain to be more alert. Any suggestions would be much appreciated! Thanks so much.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 18

    Can I just say you are such a good partner to wake up and help her reposition. Not many men would do this.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 18

    So I feel like she should understand that with having a kid, you may be more tired than you were before the first kid was born. I know I sleep much heavier when I’m more tired from the day... which these days now is true for every night. But parents somehow have special super hearing and even some times hear phantom sounds when it comes to their kids.

  • anonymous mom
    Feb 19

    Does she hear you every time you whisper or move? Probably not. Does she hear your son every time he moves or cries? More likely. We are wired to hear our babies but our spouses? Not so much. I’m usually 100% all in on supporting pregnant moms but I think your wife needs to be more understanding...

  • Scott
    Feb 23

    I appreciate it thank you! Her expectations are hard to reason with sometimes.